Demon Cats and My Mom's Boyfriend
by VeeandreaHart
Summary: Kalika is not a happy camper when she finds out her mother's boyfriend ruined her art pieces, and is even unhappier when a bunch of cats follow her home from the dumpster. What will happen when she finds out that they're not just kittens, but also S-Ranked criminals from her favorite anime? Sasori/OC Rated T for language and Hidan, definitely!
1. Chapter 1

**He-he, so I was going to wait until after Rebirth was finished, but I had a good idea to switch up the cliché. **

**Disclaimer: Ha-ha, cause Naruto is mine, right? Ha-ha. No, wrong!**

"What the hell," I muttered, walking into my art studio and getting hit in the face with a putrid odor.

I looked around the room, my eyes stinging, and noticed that everything was black! No, seriously, all of my pieces were covered in some sort of ashy grossness.

"Mother!" I called, popping my head out of the room.

"What is it, honey?" I heard my mother call back from down the stairs.

"Was someone in my art studio?" I asked.

"What? Oh, yeah, Michael was smoking in there," she replied, seemingly distracted.

"Oh, that's cool," I rolled my eyes. "And WHY THE FUCK WAS HE SMOKING IN MY ART STUDIO?!" I demanded.

"I said it was okay, she replied. "He had nowhere else to do it."

"How about OUTSIDE!?" I offered. "Or anywhere else!"

"Honey, I don't see what the big deal is," my mother laughed, coming down the stairs.

"The big deal is that all of my artwork is covered in ash, my whole studio smells _horrible_, and I have a show in less than two weeks!"

"You can always make more pieces," she rolled her eyes.

"Not with my supplies ruined!" I growled, picking up the clay that was on the floor, which I specifically remembered putting away. "My clay's dried out, and so is my paint."

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Whose bright idea was it to touch my stuff? Yours?" I asked.

"Well, Michael wanted to know what kind of supplies you used," my mother said. "You know his daughter is an artist too."

"Yes, mother, you told me," I growled. "Please go away while I throw away all of my pieces and supplies."

"I don't think you need to throw them away," she replied. "I'm sure you can still use them."

"Mother, there is nothing you can do with hard clay and dried out paints," I responded. "Please. Leave."

She shrugged her shoulders, exiting the room, closing the door behind her. "Why?" I asked myself, picking up a few of my canvases. "Why me?"

I walked out the front door, going around the corner to the dumpster. "Why would she even…?" I asked myself, throwing the canvases into the dumpster.

"Meow~"

I turned around, facing the dumpster again. "Did that thing just…meow?" I asked no one in particular.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching me before I crouched down into a ninja pose, and karate chopped the dumpster. I paused for a moment before jumping up, holding my throbbing hand.

"Owie~" I cried, jumping from one foot to another. "Stupid dumpster!" I growled, kicking it, only to remember I was wearing flip-flops. "OUCH!"

"Meow! Meow~"

I paused in my agony dance. "There it was again!" I cried. "Maybe it's coming from inside the dumpster…wow, I'm an idiot…"

I rolled my eyes, climbing up onto the top of the oversized garbage container, peering into it. "Hey! It's a kitten!" I exclaimed, reaching in to pick it up.

"Aren't you a cute little thing!" I cheered, petting its red fur. "You know, your fur reminds me of my mother's hair," I told it. "I'm mad at my mother right now. I mean, what would compel her to let her disgusting boyfriend smoke his disgusting cigarettes in my pristine art studio? Hmm?"

The cat just stared back at me with its big brown eyes. "You know…I hate cats," I told it, getting ready to throw it away from me, but it dug its claws into my hand, refusing to let go.

"OW!" I cried, starting to shake my hand vigorously. "Let go! Get off! Get off, get off, get off!"

It refused to let go. "Well…" I hummed in thought. "I guess I could keep you," I told him. "You are very intriguing in the way that you just stand there. Not doing anything. Okay, I'll take you home!"

I held him in my arms, beginning to walk back to my house, but the kitten swatted its paw at my hand. "What is it, little friend?" I asked, looking down at the kitty.

It turned around, pointing to the dumpster. "You don't want to stay in there," I told it. "You see what happens is, a giant truck comes and eats everything in the dumpsters, so if you stayed there, you'll be eaten."

The cat appeared to roll its eyes, and jumped down from my arms, prancing over to the dumpster. "Meow~" he called.

A series of meows were heard, echoing my new kittens. Nine other kittens jumped out of the dumpster, surrounding my kitty.

"No," I shook my head. "I might be able to get away with hiding one cat, but ten? Can't happen. Nope. Nada. Come, kitty," I enticed the red kitten, picking him up again.

I started walking back home once again, and noticed the other kittens following me. "No," I told them. "Go find other mamas."

They stared at me blankly. "Meow~" a blonde kitten said, rubbing against my leg. The kitten in my arms began to his at the blonde one.

"Shush!" I commanded. "If I'm going to take you all home, you need to cooperate! My mom's boyfriend's staying at our house for the rest of the month, so there's only so much I'll be able to take from you guys."

After I finished my rant, I noticed I was in front of the door to my house. "Here we are," I grinned, opening the door.

As soon as I stepped in, my mood grew worse, smelling the scent of Michael's cigarettes. "I hate him," I growled.

"I know it smells disgusting in here," I told the kittens. "But can you please stay in here until I finish throwing all this stuff away? Pretty please?"

All the kittens looked from me to an orange kitten with gray spots on its face. It nodded its head in agreement, and the other kittens mimicked the movement towards me.

"Okay…" I trailed off, placing the kitten I was holding down.

_*One hour of Throwing Away Soiled Artwork and Cussing Later*_

I walked in through the door for the who-know-how-many-ith time, finding the kittens standing in the corner where they've been staying for the past hour.  
"Jesus, it stinks in here," I whined. "Come, kittens. Let us be sneaky to get past my family without them noticing you!"

The kittens nodded like they understood me, making me smile. "Wait! Where's Little Red Dude?" I asked, looking for it. When I finally found him, I picked him up, cuddling him. "You're the one I'm going to show my mother if she asks what's up with the cat food," I told him. "So please be very well behaved or I won't be able to keep you."

He nodded curtly, making me smile. "You're so cute!" I cried, hugging him close to me.

I opened the door that separates my art studio from the rest of the house. "Hurry," I whispered. "We need to get to my room!"

I clutched the kitten in my hand, going up the stairs, slowly, to observe my surroundings. Once we had gotten to the third floor, I shuffled down the hall as fast as I could without risking falling on my face.

I ran into my room, hurrying the kittens in, before shutting the door. I sniffed. "Oh, no!" I cried. "The scent followed me here too!"

"Meow~" Little Red said.

"Oh, yeah, it's probably us because we were in that room," I giggled. "You're so smart!"

I placed him on the floor, looking at all the kittens. "I guess I should name you all," I sighed. "But coming up with names is so hard…"

I began going through my bookshelf, pulling out my Naruto book. "Well, since there are ten of you. I guess I'll name you after Akatsuki members," I told them, sitting next to them.

They looked at each other, worry etched on their little kitty faces. "Pein," I said, pointing to the orange one. "That's you."

"You're Konan," I told the dark blue one. "You're Light Yagami," I told the one with the orange swirl. "Just because Tobi pisses me off."

"You're Freaky Plant Guy, because Zetsu would approve," I rolled my eyes. "You're Sharkbait," I told the shark-like one. "You're…Batman!" I told the one with red eyes.

I picked up Little Red. "I'm going to call you Lovely," I told him. "But that's not your name. I'll just call you that. Your name shall be…Frank."

"You…are Deidara, because I don't feel like coming up with a new name for you," I told the blonde kitten. "You're Creepy Heart Guy," I told the one that would be named Kakuzu. "And you're…Buttface."

"I'm going to get you guys some food," I said, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I left the room, going downstairs. In the kitchen, I found my mother and her boyfriend sucking face. "Mother, I want some tuna," I interrupted. "I don't know where you keep it."

She pulled away from Michael. "But, honey, you don't like tuna-"

"I suddenly crave a lot of tuna! A lot!" I cried. "Get if for me, mommy!"

She rolled her eyes. "You're so theatrical," she sighed, digging in the pantry.

"Can I have, like six cans?" I asked.

"No one eats six cans of tuna, though."

"Mother, please. I'm really hungry," I groaned.

"Okay…" my mother replied, removing the lids of all the cans, placing each one on the counter.

I pulled out one large dish and one smaller dish (because I play favorite), and put five of the cans' contents on the large dish. I put the remaining tuna on the smaller dish.

"Thanks, mother," I sighed, carrying the dishes back up to my room, ignoring whatever she was going to say to me.

"I'm home, my lovelies!" I sang, entering my room, finding it a mess. All of my Naruto merchandise related to the Akatsuki was on the floor, ripped up, or worse.

What could be worse, you may ask? Well, Buttface peed on some of them. That's pretty worse.

"I hate cats," I glared, putting the large dish on the floor. "Eat up, kitties."

I picked up Frank. "Hello, Lovely," I greeted. "Because I like you the best, you get your own dish. If any of the other cats try to take it from you, feel free to fight to the death over it."

I put him and the smaller dish on top of my dresser, letting him eat in peace.

I smiled at the peaceful looking kittens, hiding my true anger over my messes up room, before I left the room to go take a shower to get the cigarette stink off.

Next, I have to clean the kittens. Oh, joy.

**I know what you're thinking. Come now, Vee, another kitten story? Well, all I have to say is this. Kitten stories are my favorite!**

**Anyways, if you want to you can press that lonely looking review box thingy. I don't know what to call it anymore.**

**Loves and hugs, minions,**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two, anyone? Gosh, I'm so tired! I wish I was napping! Or had some juice, but whatever!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I think you'd know.**

"Gimme a head with hair," I sang, rubbing shampoo into my scalp. "Long beautiful hair! Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen! Gimme down to there, hair! Shoulder length or longer! Here, baby! There, mama! Everywhere, Daddy, Daddy! Hair~"

I heard something fall to the ground, and jumped. "Who's there?" I demanded. No one replied.

"Whoever you are, my father's a cop!" I warned, ripping back the curtain, coming face to face with kittens. "Wahh! I feel like I'm being violated!" I cried, covering myself with the curtain.

"Konan, get them out," I whined, crying.

Konan, Frank, and Pein were the only two cats _not _in the bathroom, and they wandered in after hearing me call for the only female kitten.

The three of the glared at the seven others, and Konan and Pein began hissing and shooing the other kittens out.

Frank, on the other hand, stood where the other kittens stood and stared up at me, donning a blank look. "Please go away," I whispered.

Frank nodded and left the room, nudging the door closed. "Thanks, Lovely!" I cheered, grinning.

I finished my shower and dried off, not bothering to blow dry my hair. "It'll dry naturally," I told my reflection, nodding in agreement. I through it up into a ponytail and got dressed.

"You look beautiful," I complimented myself before I left the bathroom, and going back into my room.

"Hello, my beautiful minions," I greeted them. "I need to ask you something very important."

They turned to look at me.

"Why would you let Buttface wazz on my Sasori plush?" I cried, pouting. "I had to have that custom made! And now it'll never be the same!"

I began to cry, picking up the closest thing I had to a clean Sasori plush, my Hiruko plush, and hugging it to my chest. "Buttface is such a jerk!" I whined.

"Kalika, stop whining!" my mother shouted from downstairs.

I ripped open my door, screaming, "I'm not whining! And don't call me Kalika!"

I slammed my door shut to accentuate my point, going back to Hiruko. "I'm not whining," I said, pouting.

"Whatever!" my mother screamed. "But you're friend's here!"

"Which one?" I asked.

"The one from Idaho," my mother replied.

"Oh, it's Ana," I said, turning to my kitties. "Be afraid. Be very afraid."

The kittens looked at me in confusion, but soon enough, my bedroom door banged open. "Honey~ I'm home~" Ana announced.

"Yeah, yeah, close the door behind you," I rolled my eyes.

"Sure thing," she replied, shutting the door. "Why so serious, Kiks?" she looked down and saw the kittens. She gasped. "KITTIES!" she cheered, dropping to the floor on her hands and knees.

"Meow~" she said. "Meow~"

"What are you doing, Rae Rae?"

"Shh, I'm not Rae Rae! I'm a cat!" she announced before her eyes landed on Batman. Her eyes widened, and she took a deep breath. "FLUFFELS!" she cried, scooping him up into her arms, hugging him to her chest.

"Actually, his name's Batman," I responded, playing with Frank.

"Well, I'll call him Fluffels," Ana replied, sticking her tongue out at me. She licked Batman's head a few times before she started to cough, shoving Batman in her shirt.

"Are you okay?" I asked, rushing to her side.

She coughed a few more times. "Sorry," she whispered. "Hairball!"

"You're ridiculous," I told her, grinning. "I take it Batman's your favorite?"

"It's not Batman," she sassed. "It's Fluffels. And how would you figure?"

"I figure," I responded. "Since you don't just go around licking anything. You only lick things you like."

"Oh, yeah? Name one time I did that? Besides just now."

"When I got my Itachi plush," I deadpanned. "And when I got you an Itachi plush. And when I got you the L plush. And your own Death Note, and-"

"Okay, okay! I get it!" she interrupted me, smiling. "Hey, why's your hair wet?" Ana asked, stroking my hair.

"Buttface peed on my head," I responded, pointing to the kitten aforementioned.

Ana took her hand away. "Really?" she asked, sniffing my hair.

"No, I just took a shower…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"Yup…"

"Uh-huh…"

"Exactly…"

"Totally…"

"So, hey, when did you get kittens?" she stopped our line of awkward.

"Yesterday, but my mother doesn't know, so keep it on the DL," I asked her.

"You got it, dude!" Ana grinned. "Where did you get them?"

"Well, you see, it was a long one day ago," I waved my hand in front of me, cueing a flashback. "I was mighty upset at my mother's boyfriend because his nasty ass cigarettes ruined my art room, so I had to throw away all of my pieces-"

"He did what?" she asked, deadpanning.

"So while I went to throw away a number of my canvases, I found Frank here," I grinned, picking up the red kitten. "And decided to keep him, but then nine other little kittens came out of the dumpster where I found him, and I told them. _I told them_. That they couldn't come home with me, but they followed me anyways, so I kept them."

"Are you going to bring them to get their shots?" she asked, giving me a look.

"Obviously," I rolled my eyes. "But I have to wait until my mother and her boyfriend leave for their date."

"Ah, well, I'll come too," Ana smiled.

"I take it, you're sleeping over?"

"My brother was annoying me, and my father refuses to put the AC in," she rolled her eyes. "It's too hot!"

"Well, aren't you going on vacation in a week?" I asked.

"I don't know yet," she replied. "I have to think about it…If I decided to stay, could I stay here?"

"Only every day of your life," I told her. "My home is your home."

An awkward silence fell over us, stretching over us for a good fifteen minutes.

"So…" Ana started. "What do you wanna do now?"

"Introductions?" I offered.

"But I already know you-"

"I was talking about the kittens, Rae Rae!" I giggled, standing up. "Oh, Jesus!" I cried. "Rae Rae! They're demons!"

"Who? The kittens?"

"Yes! They threw all my Akatsuki merchandise on the ground, and Buttface wazzed on Sasori!"

"Well, at least it wasn't Itachi," she sighed in relief.

"You don't want to _know _what Buttface did to Itachi," I responded, sending her a look of horror.

"Oh, no…"

"I put them in the wash, but I'm afraid they might never be the same," I grimaced. "Then I'd have to buy new ones…"

"Sucks to be you~" Ana giggled.

"Yeah, yeah…" I wandered around the room, trying to find the kittens. "Where did they go?" I wondered out loud. "Rae Rae, have you seen the kittens?"

She looked at me in shock. "No…" she replied, but as soon as she said that, a noise came from inside her shirt.

"Meow~"

"Rae Rae, what was that?" I questioned, grinning.

"Nothing~"

"Are you sure? Because it sure sounds like your boobs are meowing."

"It's a medical condition!" she insisted, covering her chest.

I grinned, tackling her, and ripping the cat from inside of her shirt. I cuddled him. "Poor Batman, squished in between Ana Rae's boobs," I baby talked it.

"Now I feel violated!" Ana frowned, covering her chest.

"That's how I felt when I found them staring at me while I was in the shower."

"They were?"

"Yup," I grinned. "Check this out."

"What?" she wondered.

"Come hither, my lovelies!" I called.

After a few moments all the kittens formed a circle around the two of us. "Wow," Ana squeaked. "That was cool!"

"Now, I shall introduce you to my kittens," I announced. "You already know Batman, or as you call him, Fluffels. This one is Frank, but I call him Lovely. This is Pein and Konan," I gestured to the two. "Light Yagami, Freaky Plant Guy, Sharkbait, Buttface, Deidara, and Creepy Heart Guy."

"I noticed some Naruto themed names," Ana noted.

"Well, yes, because there are ten of them, and they're a bunch of odd balls, except for Lovely."

Deidara swatted at said red kitten, playfully, letting out a mocking meow. Lovely hissed, bringing out his claws.

"Frank, no-"

"Kalika," I heard my mother on the other side of the door. The kittens almost immediately hid under the bed.

I opened the door slightly. "What is it, mother?" I asked, annoyed.

"Michael and I are going out now, do you need anything?" she asked, trying to peek into my room.

"No, we're fine. You can go now."

"Is there anyone else in your room?"

"Besides Rae Rae?" I asked. "No. No one else. You can leave."

"But who's Frank?" my mother asked.

"Frank? I don't know any Franks," I responded. "Don't you guys have a reservation?"

"Oh, you're right!" she exclaimed. "Call me if you need me!"

"I will…"

"Love you!"

"You too," I mumbled closing the door. "Hate her…" I growled.

Ana laughed. "I know, I know," she giggled. "I'll call Gumdrop and let him know we're coming over."

"Okay," I sang. "I'll round up the kitties~" I began to walk around, picking up Lovely. "Oh, I love you so much!" I giggled, cuddling him.

"Kittens, come here please," I called, making sure they were all there. I was missing two. "Where are Buttface and Creepy Heart Guy?" I w=asked Lovely even though he couldn't talk.

I heard hissing added into a quick succession of meowing. I sighed, asking if Lovely wanted to come with me to sort it out. He nodded, looking towards the closet.

I walked in the direction he was looking at, and found Buttface and Creepy Heart Guy fighting. Well it's more like Buttface was trying to attack Creepy Heart Guy, but Creepy Heart Guy swatted him off every time.

"Hey," I scolded. "No fighting! Buttface, you're already in deep shit. If you cause any more problems, I'm not only going to have you neutered at the vet, but I'm going to throw you out to fend for yourself, and you'll die!"

Buttface stopped his assault on Creepy Heart Guy and turned to me with a death glare. "Oh, you're so intimidating," I said sarcastically. "Get in the fucking line."

Buttface and Creepy Heart Guy sulked over to the other kittens, just as Ana walked back into the room.

"What did Greg say?" I asked her.

"He said everything will be set up," Ana replied. "It was supposed to be his day off, but he said because he loves you _so much _he'll do it."

"Aw, he's such a doll," I giggled. "Come on, kitties. You get to meet more of my friends! And don't worry; they're not as crazy as my Rae Rae."

"Hey! I'm not crazy!" Anan exclaimed, hitting me over the head.

**Chapter two? Done. Chapter three? Will be done at a later time. Chapter four? Don't get ahead of yourself.**

**Thank you so much to:**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three, boom! Aren't I amazahhh?! See, I suffer from insomnia, and when I can't sleep, I find it amazing how writing tires me out so much. Once I finish a chapter, I save the document, check it for errors, post it, and then I go to sleep! And if I can't? I start a new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto? Not mine. Akatsuki kittens? Also not mine. A Woodstock Festival DVD? Totally mine!**

"Can I trust you little beasts to behave on the way to the vet?" I asked the little demons.

All of them looked to the orange kitten with gray dots on its face, who nodded. "Okay then," I grinned. "I promise I won't have any of you neutered. So follow me."

I began walking out the door of my room, making my way down the hall, but of course, my brother had to pick this very moment to step out of his room, his eyes bloodshot from playing so many video games.

"What are you doing?" he asked, skeptically.

I looked around, making sure none of the kittens were visible behind my legs. "Rae Rae and I are going out," I said. "We'll be back in an hour."

"If mom finds out you left me home alone, you'll be in big trouble," Todd sneered.

I sighed. "What do you want?"

"Twenty bucks for unconditional silence," he suggested.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Five."

"Fifteen?" he offered.

"Ten," I stated, making it clear that was my final offer.

"Fine…"

I fished out my pocket book, pulling out a ten. "Remember, this is unconditional silence. You never saw anything. We never left."

He nodded, snatching the money from my hand. "You got it," he said, flashing us a cheesy grin.

"Now go play some video games or do whatever it is you do," I waved him away.

"Tell me what you guys are doing," Todd demanded.

"I gave you ten bucks," I glared. "You don't need to know."

"Oh~ is Kika going out on a _date_?"

I scoffed. "As if," I rolled my eyes. "I have very high standards," I informed him.

"It's all the anime she watched," Ana informed him.

"Can you blame me?" I sighed.

"Nope," she grinned, popping her 'p.'

"You guys are freaks," Todd informed us, shooting us looks that said he wanted to get away from us before he catches our crazy.

"Then go away," I demanded in a sickeningly sweet voice.

He blinked twice before going back into his room.

I glared at his door, piercing daggers through it with my eyes. "If only I was a ninja," I sighed. "That whole thing wasted a good twenty minutes. Greg is going to freak out if we're late!"

"Especially since it was date night," Ana added, looking frightened.

"He might forgive me," I said, going down the stairs. "You have no hope of being forgiven though."

"Gee, thanks," Ana remarked, rolling her eyes. "You know, we might get there faster if you went down the stairs faster. Even the kittens are getting impatient."

I stopped, turning around. "Do you _want _me to fall down the stairs and injure myself?" I demanded. "Do you want for me to possibly die just so that we could make it to an appointment on time?"

"Yes…" she replied, nodding. "Hurry up!"

"No!" I shouted, pouting. "Maybe I'll go faster if I was holding Lovely."

Ana rolled her eyes, picking up the red cat, who looked equally as annoyed as the red-haired girl. She handed the kitten to me.

I snatched him up, glaring at her. "Don't ever manhandle Lovely like that ever again, Rae Rae!"

"I didn't. I handed him to you."

"Whatever," I glared, going down the stairs, a little faster.

Once we were outside, we were faced with a new problem. "Rae Rae?" I called.

"Yes, Kika?"

"How are we going to get there?" I asked, cuddling Lovely for warmth. It's cold at night, what do you want from me?

"Oh, that's right; you don't have a car…"

"Nor do I have a license," I added. "My dad left his car here when he moved out and got a new car. I'm sure it still works."

"Do you have the key?" Ana asked. "A car is no good without a key to start it."

"Yeah, Daddy gave me one when he bought the car, saying he would use it when he taught me to drive," I grinned. "It's on my keychain!"

Ana nodded her head. "I have my learner's permit, but if my dad caught me driving without an adult in the car, he'd freak!" she exclaimed.

_Oh, that's right!_ I thought. _Rae Rae's father's the head of the police department! That was part of the whole reason Rae Rae moved here from Idaho! Her father was so good at his job, he was transferred here!_

"Well, I'll drive," I shrugged. "But only if Lovely sits up front with me."

"What is your obsession with that cat?"

"He's so pretty!" I exclaimed. "Now get in the effin car before my nosy neighbor sees the cats and snitches on me!"

Ana nodded, opening the passenger side door, and placing Batman there, telling him to wait for her to get back. Then she placed all the other kittens into the backseat of the 1980's Volkswagen.

"There you go, kitties," she whispered. "Don't move. I'm going to close the door now."

"Just get in the car! I don't have enough money to pay off my neighbors if they catch us sneaking out," I rolled my eyes. "He'll be the death of me, that brother of mine."

"Okay, okay! No need to get so pushy!" she sassed. "I _am _the oldest her, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure," I giggled, starting the car.

Ana rolled her eyes, picking up Batman and taking his place in the passenger seat, closing the door, and buckling up before gently placing Batman back on her lap.

"Are you ready?" I asked seriously.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Ana replied, equally serious.

"I have to warn you, my driving skills are rusty," I warned, petting Lovely.

"Yeah, so is my brother's. I think I'll survive," she replied dryly. "Just drive."

I hummed in response, backing out of the driveway. "To the animal doctor, away!" I cried, taking off down the road. "Oh, shit…" I muttered. "There's a yellow light up ahead. That will delay our arrival…so…"

"FLOOR IT!" Ana and I shouted in unison.

We conveniently made it past the light before it turned red, and were on our way to the vet.

*One Excruciatingly Long Drive (Fifteen Minutes) Later*

I opened the door, undoing my buckle. "Lovely~" I sang, scooping him up into my arms. "Lovely! Lovely! Lovely!"

"Just spit it out!" Ana snapped, letting the other kittens out of the car.

"I'm going to let you walk now, okay?" I asked the red kitten. I felt him wiggle out of my grasp before jumping to the ground. "Stay close, and don't get hit by a car," I warned all the kittens, walking across the parking lot.

"There aren't a lot of people here," Ana noted, looking at the one other car in the parking lot.

"Well it is," I checked my imaginary watch before peeking at my phone. "Quarter after ten. The place closes at eleven."

"I suppose you're right," Ana sighed. "But! It could be a conspiracy-"

"The only conspiracy I know of is the one where Tobi is actually Light Yagami and the fucking cause of L's death, hence the object of my extreme, unrelenting hatred that could fuel the fires of hell!"

"Kika, calm down," Ana grinned, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Kishimoto-sama already let it be known that Tobi is actually-"

I covered her mouth. "Shh!" I glared. "You never know what Narutard will be lurking about, who hasn't read that chapter yet! Don't just go around giving off spoilers left and right!"

"You just gave a spoiler too! About Light and L-"

I pouted. "I miss L, Rae Rae!" I whined, hugging her.

"I know, I know," she replied, patting my back. "We all miss L."

"Light doesn't. He just pretended to care. He actually planned it all…" I whined.

"Well, Light's dead now, so…"

"So I should feel happy about the vengeance, but I feel like there's no closure! I mean, first-"

"Don't start ranting," she interrupted. "I know all your favorite characters die, turn out to be evil, or both, but we still have an appointment for the kittens to get shots and stuff."

I nodded. "You're right," I agreed. "I need to be strong! For the cats!"

Ana sweatdropped. "Sure, let's go with that, you idiot…"

"You can insult me later, we have an appointment," I grinned, walking right into the door. "What the fuck?" I demanded.

"Isn't that an automatic door?"

"Yes…" I mumbled. "They never open for me."

"What do you mean?" she asked, before a look of realization came across her face. "Oh~ because you're so short, the sensor doesn't see you!"

"Yeah…" I muttered. "Rae Rae, help?"

She sighed, flashing me a toothy grin before walking in front of the automatic door, which opened for her.

Stupid technology.

That's all I have to say.

Ana went in first, followed by the kittens in single file, and then me, but by the time it was my turn, the door closed on my face.

"Really?" I demanded. "Really? You stupid door! Open! OPEN!"

I went to punch the door, but it opened and I hit whoever was on the other side, which happened to be Greg, who groaned in pain.

"Gumdrop!" I cried, hugging him. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to punch you, but I got so mad, the door closed on me twice! Not once, but twice!"

"I know, that's why I went to open the door for you," he groaned, rubbing him nose.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he shook his head. "So ten kittens you found in the dumpster?"

"Yup," I nodded.

"And you're keeping them all?"

"Yes."

"Without having your mother find out?"

"Indeed."

"Good luck with that," he nodded.

"Can you give them their shots and everything?" I asked.

"Anything for you," he winked, going towards the back room. "I'll just give them a quick scrubbing first."

"Be careful with Lovely!" I cried, waving at him.

Greg turned around. "Which one's Lovely?" he asked.

"Well, only I can call him Lovely. His real name is Frank," I informed him. "He's the blood red one."

He nodded. "You are a strange one," he grinned.

"But that's why you love me, right?"

"I love everything about you," he grinned, walking to the back room.

Greg has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I think we met in kindergarten, and we didn't like each other very much, but a few years later, I found some kids picking on him, so I beat them up.

It wasn't that hard, seeing as I grew up with four older brothers who loved to roughhouse.

After that we became best friends, and hung out every chance we could. Then when we started high school, I went to an all girls' school and he went to an all boys' one, so we spent less time together.

Back then he was picked on for being so small, but when we started high school a new "problem" arose, the fact that he was gay. They began to bully him at his school, and he would never tell me how he got any of those bruises or scrapes.

Eventually I got fed up with him telling me that he fell, and I followed him to school on day, and saw what actually happened, but Greg fought back, surprisingly.

I had nodded my approval when he looked over and saw me, offering a small smile.

I sauntered over to him, wrapping my arms around him in a hug. "You're not mad?" he had asked.

"I'm glad you're standing up for yourself," I responded, but punched his arm. "But if you _ever _lie to me again, I'll pound your face in."

He laughed nervously. "Got it!"

"Kalika!" someone shouted in front of my face.

I blinked twice. "Leo!" I cried. "I'm sorry I dragged Greg away from you tonight."

"It's not a problem," he shrugged. "Did you change your hair?"

"Oh, that's right! I haven't seen you since before I dyed it!" I giggled. "I mean, no! I took the dye I had in it out."

"So you're a natural blonde?" he asked, scrunching up his nose.

"My hair's naturally a cream color," I shrugged, watching as he got closer to inspect it.

"Oh, yeah! I see it," he exclaimed. "And then you dip-dyed the ends?"

"Black and red!"

"One on each side," he nodded. "I like it."

"Aw shucks," I blushed. "Thank you very mu-"

"_**HOLY FUCK!"**_

The end, so my ending Author's note is not bolded because the last line of the story is. This chapter is longer than my usual chapter length, but I couldn't be silenced!

I hope you enjoyed this installment of Demon Cats and My Mom's Boyfriend!

I'll thank everyone who followed/favorite/reviewed for the last chapter next chapter, because this is seriously too long, and I just keep writing. It's ridiculous!

Is it just me, or is the underlining thing really annoying. I really hate it, it's giving me anxiety. Oh goodness, I should stop right now!

Loves and hugs, minions!

Yours psychotically,

Vee 


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go again~ wow, I don't even know what to write for the author's note, and so writing the chapter may be a little slow.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.**

"HOLY FUCK!" someone yelled from the back room, and I heard Ana laughing maniacally a little while afterwards.

"What did Ana Rae blow up this time?" Leo and I asked in unison, rushing to the back room.

"Rae Rae, what did you break?" I demanded, stepping into the room, looking around.

Ana was on the floor laughing, while Greg was gaping at something. I followed his line of vision at the same time Leo did, and we stared in awe at what we saw.

Nine men. Wait! Nine _naked _men. Wait! Scratch that! Nine attractive naked men.

We stared in shock before turning to each other, covering the other's eyes. "Don't look! Your virgin eyes!" we cried.

Greg cleared his throat. "I'm just going to…" he trailed of, grabbing bout of our arms and leading us out of the room.

"Wait! We have to save Rae Rae!" I cried, lunging back into the room.

Greg pulled me out again before I got to Ana. "She's already gone off the deep end," Greg said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, you just want to go in there the see naked men."

"You're the only naked man I wanna see," I said, winking.

"Hey! He's mine," Leo growled.

"What?" I asked innocently. "I didn't say anything. So, Greg, care to explain why there are nine naked men and a naked woman in your back room?"

Greg stood shocked. "It's not like that, I swear," he insisted. "It was your kittens!" he accused, pointing at me.

"Yeah because my kittens would go out of their way to put a whole bunch of naked people in your back room, just to get Ana to freak out, and to get you to look at other people," I rolled my eyes.

"No!" Greg replied, his eyes widening. "I began washing them and then smoke…it was like…POOF! And then, Boom! Naked people!"

"That was…" Leo trailed off.

"The most confusing story ever," I finished the sentence. "I think you lie!"

"I'm not lying, I swear!"

"Mhmm, sure you aren't…"

"I'm not-"

"Holy shit! There's a naked woman in there!" I cried, rushing into the room, and pulling the woman out of the room, taking the time to drag Ana out too.

Once I shut the door, I roamed around for a towel, but eventually gave up, giving her the trench coat I kept in the back of my dad's car.

Ana finally stopped laughing. "It was done," she sighed. "Hey, why do you have a pedophile jacket?"

"Why not?" I shrugged. "Besides, sometimes I get in the pedophile mood, and just want to pretend to be Orochimaru."

"You're…ridiculous," Ana sighed.

"Ha-ha," I replied sarcastically, grimacing.

"Thank you for the coat," the girl said, nodding her head in thanks.

"You are very much welcome," I told her. "Hey…uh…"

"Konan," she offered.

I paused, staring at her in shock. "Konan?" I asked. "Like my kitten, Konan, and the member of the Akatsuki, Konan?"

"That's me," she replied.

"Wait," I stopped her, holding out a hand. "SO, you're saying that you are my kitten turned human _and _the most badass female in my favorite anime?"

"I…guess so," she replied, her face blank.

Greg walked into the room with an armful of towels. "Hey…" he greeted.

"When did you leave the room, Gumdrop?" I asked curiously.

"Now never you mind," he smirked. "I brought towels for the named men."

"I'll bring them in!" Ana and I shouted at the same time.

"One of you will put the towels through the slightly opened door, one at a time, so as to protect your innocent eyes," Leo interrupted.

"Well, that's no fun," Ana pouted.

I sighed. "Fine…I'll do it…"

I took the towels into my arms and walked to the back room. Pushing the door open slightly, I called out, "Yo, I'm going to push some towels through this crack. You will each take a towel, and wrap yourselves up in them, making yourselves decent. Then you will come out and explain to me who the fuck you are."

There was no response, so I automatically started pushing the towels into the room one by one. "There!" I giggled when I held no more towels, walking back towards Ana and the others.

"The deed had been did," I told them solemnly.

"And now we wait," Ana said.

"Yes, now we wait," I agreed. "So, Konan, what's up?"

"What's…up?" she asked, confused, looking up. "Is this some sort of joke? You could easily look up and see for yourself."

"Wow, not even here for an hour and she's already sassing me," I frowned. "Why does everybody do this to me?"

"Because you're easy to pick fun at," Leo offered.

"Shut up!" I growled. "Don't even start with me, you-"

A door slammed opened and I heard as ensemble of feet shuffling towards our room. I looked up and got a better look at the (now covered) naked men.

"Nyeehahaha!" I cheered, clapping my hands as I jumped up and down.

"What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?" one of them asked.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" I clapped, running over to them and hugging the redhead. "Lovely!" I called out before pulling away. "Sorry. Sasori," I corrected myself, turning to the others. "Rae Rae! It's the Akatsuki!" I grinned.

I looked to Greg, questioning him as to where Ana was. He pointed next to me, and I saw her, hugging Itachi.

"Oh…" I grinned, stroking Sasori's arm and face. "Wow, you really are made of wood!" I exclaimed.

He turned to me, his face blank, but I could see the annoyed look in his big, beautiful, brown eyes.

"Sorry," I grimaced, pulling my hand away. "Oh, Jesus!"

"What?" Greg asked cautiously.

"My wish came true~" I cheered, dancing around him.

"What do you mean?" Leo questioned.

"Well, you see, it was one long week ago," I said, cueing another flashback. "I was very upset about _him _coming up from Georgia, so I starting throwing stuff and wrote over and over again in my notebook of problems that my life would be so much easier if the Akatsuki were here, you know? Oh, and for the past three years, I'd wish for them to be here whenever I go a chance."

"You're…an idiot," Greg concluded.

"Go fuck a moose," I told him, glaring.

He returned my glare, and we soon began a staring contest. "I'm gonna win," I told him.

"Not if win," he replied, smirking.

"What are they doing?" Kisame asked. "They were just insulting each other two seconds ago…"

"That's what morons do," Ana said.

"I'm not an idiot," I replied, not breaking eye contact. "Now shut up before you make me lose."

"One of you will tell me how we got here and how you know about our existence?" Pein asked.

"I'll let you know," I told him. "Right after I win."

Pein sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. After ten minutes of none of us moving, and still no sign of a winner coming about soon, Sasori growled.

"I hate being kept waiting…"

"I know, love, but you'll have to bear with it until I win," I grinned.

I heard the shuffle of feet, and noticed Sasori standing behind Greg. "What are you doing, Lovely?" I asked childishly.

He didn't respond, but slapped the back of Greg's head, making him blink. I paused for a minute, staring in shock before jumping up. "I win!" I cheered. "I won! Hahaha, in your face, you loser!"

"It wasn't a fair win-"

"I have defeated you for all time," I glared. "You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!"

"Okay, Azula," Ana rolled her eyes.

"Okay, so what do you want, Pein?" I asked, turning to the ginger.

"How do you know of our existence?" he demanded.

"You…oh…ah…Rae Rae, help me out," I asked.

Ana sighed, complaining about having to do everything herself. "Look, you guys are actually fictional characters," she began. "Congrats, you're the sexy hot spawns of a mangaka's mind."

"No need to be so blunt," I interrupted. "Anyway, so you're some of our favorite characters in our favorite anime called Naruto. Hence we know you."

"How much do you know?" he asked, glaring threateningly.

"Everything," I whispered dramatically. "Well, I mean, as much as any other self-respecting Narutard does, anyway."

The members of the Akatsuki remain quiet. "So…can I keep them?" I asked Ana.

"Only if you share," she replied. "Oh, and if you don't let your mother know."

"And I thought hiding ten kittens in my room would be hard," I muttered. "Let's get home before my mother gets back and kills me."

**The end of the chapter has come once again. I hope you're enjoying this because you guys aren't really giving me much feedback.**

**Loves and hugs, minions.**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh, hello. I didn't see you there! What's that? You want to read the next chapter of Demon Cats? And you also want me to stop talking like that guy in those Gamefly commercials? Sure, I can do that!**

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto? *snorts* yeah, and I'm secretly Michael Myers' lover. I wish.**

"How are we going to fit them in the car?" Ana asked.

"Easy, partner laps," I grinned. "You'll sit on Itachi's lap in the front-"

"Yes! Fluffels!" she cried, rushing over to Itachi, who gently stopped her from ramming into her.

"Oh, goodness. Three seats in the back. Nine of you…" I trailed off. "What to do. What to do?"

"You can always have Sasori sit on Deidara's lap," Ana chuckled, leading Itachi back to the car.

I gagged. "Anything but that!" I cried. "Okay, Pein, sit by the window. Zetsu, you sit next to him. Deidara, you sit next to Zetsu."

They all nodded and followed my instructions. "Now…Konan, sit on Pein's lap. Sasori, sit one Zetsu's-"

"Why should he **sit on my lap?**" Zetsu demanded.

"Because I don't trust you, and since Sasori's made out of wood, which I confirmed, you can't eat him," I replied, giggling hysterically. "And…he-he…and Tobi…sits…Deidara's lap…"

"What, un?" Deidara demanded, almost leaping out of the car. "No way! I refuse, hmm."

"I don't care what you think," I sassed. "Pein, tell him it's the only way to get them organized in the car."

"Listen to her," he said, shifting in his seat to make himself more comfortable.

"Yeah~ listen to me," I giggled, getting in Deidara's face. I paused there for a moment, contemplating having a fangirl attack before settling on just licking his face.

"What the hell, un?" Deidara demanded, wiping his face vigorously.

"Sorry, I was just wondering if you tasted like your name implies…" I giggled, twirling his hair around my finger. "You know…banana..."

"Get on with it, Kika," Ana rushed me.

"Sorry," I replied. "So, yeah, Tobi on Deidara. Kisame, please get in the trunk with Kakuzu. And Hidan, I'm going to tie you to the bumper."

"What the fuck? Why?" he demanded.

"Well, cause you're immortal so you won't die and you like pain, so…"

"Fine, just get it over with, bitch…" he mumbled.

"I just realized," I said, taking a pair of pants out of the trunk to make room for Kisame and Kakuzu. I handed them to Hidan, and grabbed a thing of rope, asking Kisame to hold them. "None of you are actually wearing clothes. Put these on, honey."

Hidan snatched them out of my hands and put them on. "They're…fucking tight," he growled, wiggling around to try and get comfortable in them.

"Yeah, well, they're mine," I shrugged, taking off my belt. "Put this on too…"

He did as he was told, and I took my heavy duty rope from Kisame's hands. I tied it to the belt, and Hidan's hands, and then went over to tie it to Kakuzu. "This way, I'll know he won't die…Hey, wait a minute!" I growled. "Hidan wazzed on Sasori!"

"I didn't fucking 'wazz' whatever the hell that is," Hidan growled. "I pissed on the thing."

"Same difference," I said, sending a glare his way. "Kakuzu, please feel free to let go of the rope whenever you please."

He nodded. "Alright then…" he said, and I think under his mask, I'm not entirely sure though, he was smirking evilly.

I tapped Hidan on the back. "Good luck, buddy," I said grimly before walking to the driver's seat. "Wah, how I wish Sasori was still a kitten…" I announced, adjusting my mirror.

"Just drive!" Ana growled, stroking Itachi's arm. "I'm tired!"

"Fine, fine," I swatted her away, starting the car. "I love driving!"

"Too bad if you get pulled over there'll be no one to save you," Ana replied.

"I'm in a car full of S-Class criminals," I deadpanned. "I'm sure one or all of them can think of something to get me out of that situation if they still want to have a place to stay. Right, Pein?"

He remained silent, and I looked at him in my rearview mirror. "Right?" I repeated. He nodded.

"Yes…"

"Thanks!"

*Fifteen to Twenty Minutes Later*

"We're here~" I announced, shutting the car off.

"No, we're not," Ana replied, looking out the window. "Keep driving."

"Why?"

She sighed, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "His lap's comfy~"

I giggled. "Too bad!" I jumped out of the car, opening the door for Pein and Konan.

They stepped out, nodding their thanks, and Sasori, becoming impatient with how long it's taking to wake Tobi up so they could get out on the other side, came out on this side. "Watch your step," I warned, hearing a car. "Please, Lord Jashin, no…" I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Holy shit," Ana murmured. "Get back in the car!" she commanded. "Make a scene!"

"What's going on?" Sasori whispered, not really sounding like he cared.

"My mother's here!" I whispered back. "Holy fuck!" I shouted, deepening my voice. "The owners are here! Let's get outta here!"

I pushed Sasori back in the car, and Pein and Konan jumped in after him swiftly. I, having to get out of there, jumped in after _them _and climbed over to Sasori, throwing Ana my keys.

"Drive, bitch! Drive!" I demanded.

"Hey! What the fuck! What about me?" I heard Hidan shout.

She nodded, starting the car, and hopping into the driver's seat. She sped off, making sure my mother couldn't make out our faces when we passed her.

"What do we do now?" Ana asked, sneaking glances at me.

I pulled out my phone, calling home. My brother picked it up. "Hello," he asked.

"Get out of the house!" I demanded. "Go out throw the bathroom window, and wait for me in the backyard. You're sleeping over Jim's tonight."

"O…kay, just let me pack my stuff-"

"No time! I already did," I said, beginning to get antsy. "Just go!"

"Okay, okay," he said, hanging up.

"Swing into the backyard," I told Ana. She nodded, doing as I said.

A few seconds passed, although they felt like hours, and Todd came out of the house via the window. He made his way over to the car, opening the door.

"Why do you have Dad's car?" he asked skeptically. "And who are all these people?"

"If you get in the fucking car, I'll give you fifty bucks, for your unconditional silence," I growled.

"Deal," he chirped, climbing onto Konan's lap. "Well, hello there," he greeted her, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You come here often?"

"Todd, stop unless you want to die," I warned him.

His smile dropped. "Are you threatening me?" he demanded, his voice cracking. "I'll call mom and tell her! You're a horrible babysitter and-"

"Seventy-five dollars if you shut up _and _don't say anything about this to _anyone_," I said, glaring at him. He made a "zip the lip" motion, giving me a thumbs up. "Good. Oh, and by the way…I'm going to be your babysitter for the next five years. I can make your life a living hell," I told him, shooting him a glare.

He looked like he was going to _go _in his pants. "I wouldn't," I informed him. "Konan could _slaughter _you."

He nodded his head vigorously, looking out the window.

"Oh, sweet silence," I sighed, leaning back onto Sasori. "Oh, hello~"

"Hn," he replied.

"Where to now, lover?" Ana asked, stopping at a red light.

"Ah…let's drop him off at Jim's house," I suggested, jerking my head towards Todd.

"And…let's stay at Greg's."

"You can call him, asking for this favor," Ana said, glaring at me. "I asked for my daily favor~"

"Okay! Here goes nothing," I pulled out my phone once again, opening my contacts list. I hesitated when I went to press the call button. "I hope he doesn't kill me…" I muttered.

Ana remained silent, agreeing with me. "Well, it looked like he liked you," Kisame offered from the back.

"Yeah…" I agreed halfheartedly, chewing my lip. I pressed the call button.

_Ring…ring…ring…ring…rig…ring…ri-_

"Hello?" Greg answered.

"Who is it?" I vaguely heard Leo.

"Sorry for bothering you," I replied, staring at the windshield. Greg stayed silent for a long time. "Please say something," I asked weakly.

He sighed. "What do you want, Kika?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, after we left your office thingy, we came back home and when we were about to get out of the car, my mother came home, so we had to leave and I didn't know who else to call and because you already know about them being here and I didn't know who else to call and because you love me and…and because I love you and you know you love me I figured that maybe, _maybe_ you could help me out and let us-"

"Long story short?" he interrupted, not following my rant.

"Long story short, I was wondering if we could stay at your place for tonight…"

Greg sighed exasperatedly. "They can have the guest room and the living room and you and Ana can share your room, but my parents are coming over tomorrow around noon, so you have to be out by then," he said, weakly.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Gosh, I love you so much! You're the best," I praised him. "A real kind heart. A truly kind person! A single light in a world of darkness and deceit. The only one who lights up my dark heart!"

"Okay, I get it, I'm really awesome," he laughed. "When are you getting here?"

"Uh…hold on," I pulled the phone away from my mouth. "Rae Rae, when are we getting there?"

"About five minutes until we get to Jim's," she replied. "And you'll need to get gas tomorrow."

"Okay," I nodded, putting the phone to my ear. "About half an hour?"

"Okay, we'll be waiting."

"I'm really sorry," I grimaced.

"What are friends for?"

"Paying my bail?" I offered, making him laugh.

"So, I take it that you took your father's old car?"

"Yes…"

"How will you explain _that _to your mom?"

"Easy, I tell her Rae Rae's already got her license and we went over to your place," I said.

"Just don't get me in trouble," he warned.

"I won't," I rolled my eyes. "See you soon."

"Yup."

I hung up the phone, wiggling to put it in my body to put my phone in my butt pocket. "Sasori, has anyone ever told you that, for a puppet, your lap is very comfortable?"

He gave me a questioning look.

"What?" I asked. "You're really, _really_ comfy~"

"Kika's in love~ Kika's in love~" Ana sang.

"Ana dreams of Itachi-nii~" I mimicked her singing.

"Shut up!" she shouted.

"You shut up!"

"No, _you _shut up!"

"Oh, you're _so _mature," I sassed.

"Oh, and you're not?" she replied.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Hidan yelled from outside.

"Meep," we squeaked in unison, falling into silence.

After we dropped Todd off at Jim's and explained the situation to his mother (not truthfully of course!), we headed to Greg's house.

I leaned over to whisper into Sasori's ear. "Psst…Sasori..."

"What?" he replied, opening his eyes.

"I like your hair," I shrugged, turning back around.

He sighed, closing his eyes again.

"Rae Rae? Are we there yet?" I whined, leaning my head back onto Sasori's chest.

"No~" she replied.

"…How about now?"

"No."

"Now~?"

"Nada," she shook her head, turning on her blinker.

"…Are we there yet _now_?"

"No~"

"How. About. Now!?" I asked, bouncing on Sasori's lap.

"How about no!?" she responded.

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes," Ana sighed.

"Really?" I cheered.

"No."

I fell silent, pouting, every sighed in relief. "Are we there yet?" Tobi and I said in unison.

"Tobi, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll feed you to Zetsu after ripping your parts off," Ana threatened, letting her hatred for Tobi to be known. "Kika, if _you _don't shut up, I will gouge out your eyeballs and hang you with your own intestines."

"Grr," I growled. "I'm a lion! El tigre!" I shouted.

"El tigre is Spanish for tiger, not lion," Ana deadpanned.

"Oh…Roar! I'm a tiger! El tigre!" I began again.

Pein shot Sasori a look and he nodded, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pulling me backwards, covering my mouth.

I blushed, grinning, deciding to lick his hand. _Mm, he does taste like wood…_I mentally sighed.

I don't think he felt it, but I'm not sure. After a few minutes, he pulled his hand away, shushing me. I nodded, snuggling up against his chest. "Stay quiet," he whispered.

I took a deep breath, and everyone froze. "Okay," I said, taking his hand into mine, playing with his fingers.

Ana slammed on the brake, and those of us who weren't buckled in (*cough cough* me *cough cough*) almost went flying. Good thing their favorite puppet saved them from going straight through the windshield. Unfortunately there was no sexy red-headed puppet to save Hidan from smashing into the back of the car.

"Thanks," I said, sending a smile his way.

"Hn," he nodded in response.

"We're here~" Ana cheered, hopping out of the car, opening the Pein and Konan's door. They got out swiftly, stretching their muscles from being cramped in the car.

I shuffled out after them, dancing around. "I haven't been here in forever!" I announced, looking up at the two-story house that belongs to my best friend.

I skipped up the steps to the front door, knocking lightly. The Akatsuki and Ana lined up behind me, except for Hidan who was tied to some sort of thing in my trunk couldn't get out, since I had told him that if he ruins my car, I'd blow his fucking Jashinist ass off and bury his head in the middle of a deserted wood.

Greg opened the door, greeting us. "Hey, long time no see~" he said, pulling me into a hug, which I returned. "Do you need me to show you where your room is?"

"No, you've done enough," I grinned. "I remember where it is. You go back to Leo."

"Okay, see you in the morning," he smiled.

"Oh, hey," I stopped him as he began walking down the hall. "What time is it?"

"Oh, it's…" he checked his watch. "One in the morning."

"Oh…sorry," I grimaced. "We'll go to bed straight away!"

"You better!"

"Okay, good night," I said, waving him away. "Let's see," I began leading the group to the guest bedroom. I opened the door, and walked in, taking out the pull-out bed. "Pein and Konan can take the main bed," I said.

The two nodded, sitting on the bed.

I sighed, looking over the group. "Let's see…who's not an idiot?" I stared at them. "Hidan is sleeping in the living room, and Kakuzu is going to have to babysit him," I said, mulling it over. "Tobi and Zetsu will stay in here with Pein and Konan…"

"Tobi will because Tobi's-" he broke off.

I slapped him. "No! No!" I sassed. "Bad boy! Bad Tobi! Bad!"

He dropped his head. "Okay…" he murmured, going over to his bed. "Mr. Zetsu! Can I have the bed?"

"Sure, Tobi," White Zetsu said, while Black Zetsu growled. "**No way in fuck.**"

"Share and be nice," I demanded. "And Zetsu, don't eat Tobi."

"No problem. **Fine.**"

I nodded, leading the group back to the living room. "Okay, most of you are idiots, so here are the rules," I announced. "Sasori and Itachi," I glared at them. "Will stay in our room, so that they won't catch the others' stupid."

Ana giggled, probably mentally cheering. "Uh…Kisame can come too," I added as an afterthought. "Is that okay, Rae Rae?"

"Yeah, yeah," she nodded, standing next to Itachi.

"Deidara can have one side of the couch," I said, reclining the side he could lay on, before going to the other side. "Kakuzu can have this side, and…Hidan can have the chair."

I sat in said chair, pressing the button on the side to recline it. "Oh, wait…now how do I get up?" I asked myself.

Sasori rolled his eyes, coming over to pick me up out of the chair. I cleared my throat. "So…yeah," I said, awkwardly. "Have a good sleep. Don't make too much noise. If you wake me up., I'll slaughter you. If you wake Rae Rae up, she'll torture you, cook you, eat you, and _then _slaughter you."

They nodded.

"Good," I replied, leading the rest to my bedroom.

**Here you go, one especially long chapter, as apology for not finishing it yesterday! You see what happened was, my mother and I got into a five hour long fight via text messages, and let it be known, I didn't start it this time, but I certainly did end it.**

**So I love you guys!**

**Yours in eternity,**

**Vee **


	6. Chapter 6

**So here we are, chapter six. I'm eating Italian ice, so I'm writing with one hand, so the coming will be slow.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but! Since you are reading this, I own your souls.**

"Whoa…that color…" Ana grimaced.

"Shut up, it's only one wall," I swatted her for making fun of my eggplant colored wall.

"It is you though," she continued. "I think, all in all, your room is cute. Totally you and you have a big ass bed."

"But wait! There's more!" I announced, taking out the pull-out bed. "Boom!"

"No, but seriously," Ana said, lying on the bed. "You can fit me, Itachi, you, _and _Sasori on this thing."

"Well, I hope so, unless they want to squeeze in with each other on the twin sized pull-out."

"Close the door, and turn out the lights, someone?" Ana asked getting excited to go to sleep. "Your bed is _so _comfy!"

"Wait!" I cried after Itachi turned off the light. I jumped into bed, holding Ana. "Turn on a light! Turn on a light!"

Ana laughed maniacally. "Kika, you're still afraid of the dark?" she asked through her giggles.

"I'm not afraid of the dark," I replied defiantly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"They why are you clutching Sasori like your life depends on it?" she asked sassily.

I pulled away from who I thought was Ana. "It's…uh because I love him so much?" I said.

"She's been afraid of the dark for as long as I can remember," Ana told Itachi, who chuckled in response.

"No I'm not!" I exclaimed, trying to explain it to everyone. "I'm simply afraid of being murdered by a psycho-slasher, axe-wielding murdering maniac from hell…in the dark."

"Oh, yes, but if it was Michael Myers, she says she'd rape him," Ana said, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever, can we please turn on a light?"

"Nope! Let's sleep, Itachi!"

I stayed were I was, glaring at the lump that was Ana. "Jerkface," I muttered, hearing Sasori chuckle. I slapped his arm. "Don't laugh at my expense," I said in annoyance.

"I wasn't," he insisted.

"Sure," I rolled my eyes, getting out from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Sasori asked, curiously.

"_I'm _going to sleep with someone who won't be a jerk to me," I told him. "I am going to the living room to sleep with the idiots."

"Deidara hugs things in his sleep," Sasori said with a bored tone.

"Then, I'm sharing a room with Pein and Konan," I said. "_They've _never laughed at my expense."

"Kalika?" he asked.

"I'm not talking to you, you jerk," I sang, leaving the room.

I walked down the hall, entering the guest bedroom.

"**What do you want?**" Black Zetsu said.

"Shush," I sassed. "I can't sleep with those jerks, and I don't want to sleep with the idiots."

"I don't understand," White Zetsu replied.

"You don't need to," I shrugged. "All you need to know is I'm sleeping in here."

I shuffled over to the main bed and slipped in between Pein and Konan, accidently waking Konan up. "What…is it?" she asked, looking at me.

"They were jerks to me," I murmured, hugging her. "So I want to stay with you."

"Okay, I suppose that that's…" she trailed off, falling asleep.

I smirked, going to sleep with my face buried in her chest.

*_The Next Morning_*

I woke up to someone screaming and a loud thump. Konan and I both shot up, startled. The one who had screamed was Pein, having noticed me in his bed, probably, and being so startled, he fell out of the bed.

"Good morning!" I cheered, jumping down from bed to hug him. "Good morning! Good morning!"

"Yes…" he cleared his throat. "Good morning."

I pulled away. "How was your sleep?" I asked.

"It was good," he replied skeptically.

"That's good," I nodded. "Hey, can I do something?"

"It depends…" he muttered, wiping sleep away from his eyes.

I leaned close to his face, biting one of his nose piercing and pulling it out of his face. I giggled, spitting it out into my hand.

"Souvenir~" I sang, holding it up. "Thank, Pein!"

I rushed out of the room, but vaguely heard Pein mutter to Konan, "What the fuck…? Why was she in our bed?"

Konan laughed. "I'll tell you later."

I hopped into the living room, poking everyone awake. "Dei-kun~" I whispered in his ear. "WAKE UP!"

The blonde shot up. "What the hell, un?"

"Can I braid your hair?"

"Whatever, hmm," he said. "Just let me sleep…"

"NO!" I shouted, pushing him up on the chair and sitting behind him, beginning to braid his hair. "Stay awake! Stay awake!" I cheered.

"What the fuck is with all of this fucking ass noise?" Hidan shouted.

"Why are you yelling?" Kakuzu growled, also waking up.

"STOP TALKING!" I yelled, yanking Deidara's hair.

"Ouch, why would you do that, hmm?"

I heard someone storming down the hallway. Ana appeared in the doorway, a murderous look on her face with a knife in her hand. "Who the fuck is making all this noise?" she asked in a scary voice.

"I was just braiding Deidara's hair when everyone started yelling!" I exclaimed, hiding behind Deidara.

Itachi and Sasori appeared behind Ana, looking confused or amused. "Calm down, Ana," Itachi soothed, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She looked back at Itachi, looking like she was contemplating either stabbing his hand or doing as he said. She decided on the latter, sending him a smile, giving him the knife.

Sasori was glaring at Deidara (And, Jesus, if looks could kill!), and I'm sure Deidara was about to shit his pants.

"She woke me up, un," he insisted, and then began to explain what happened.

By the end of the explanation, Sasori looked less like he wanted to kill Deidara and more like he wanted to slap me. "Come on, Sasori, don't be like that," I said, pushing Deidara off the couch to make my way over to Sasori. "Smile!"

His face remained blank as he blinked twice. "I am smiling," he replied.

"No, you're not, you stupid puppet," I joked, moving his cheeks to form a smile. As soon as I moved my hands, his face went back to that blank look. "Smile."

"I told you that I am," he said, pulling something out my phone from his pocket (they had borrowed clothes from Leo and Greg). "It was vibrating all night."

"It's your mom~" Ana sang. "You're gonna get in trouble~ you're gonna get in trouble~"

I took my phone from Sasori, giving him a look. "Sasori, before I die, I want you to know, you were always my favorite member of the Akatsuki," I told him, calling my mother back.

She answered right after the first ring. "Kalika? Kalika, is that you? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine, mother," I insisted. "I noticed some sketchy people down the street, trying to find doors and windows that were unlocked in houses, so I called Jim's mom and told her we had to drop Todd off there. I figured we had to get out of the house in case they became violent."

"That was very smart of you, but you should've answered my calls," she replied.

"My phone died," I smirked. "Sorry."

"Okay, as long as you're alright…oh, Michael and I are going out again tonight."

"Okay…"

"Babysit?" she asked.

"I suppose I don't have a choice…"

"Thank you!" she cheered, hanging up.

"Figures she'd only call to talk me into babysitting," I glared. "I can't wait until I get out of that house forever…"

"Well, three years," Ana offered, giving me a small smile.

"I could die before then!" I announced, hugging Sasori tightly. I looked at the members of the Akatsuki. "You should cheer me up."

"What the fuck do you want me to do, bitch?" Hidan demanded.

"Let's do something fun!" I cheered, squeezing Sasori. "Let's make puppets and blow things up and sacrifice people and…stuff!"

"I like the fucking sound of that!" Hidan announced, pulling out his scythe.

"No, let's just make puppets," I said, changing my mind.

"And then blow them up?" Ana asked, excitedly.

I thought for a moment, looking at Sasori who was glaring at Ana. "Only the ones I make because they'll look horrible," I said. "But I get to keep one of the ones Sasori makes."

"Me too!" Ana cheered. "Itachi should make one too!"

"We'll all make one!"

"That's so exciting!"

"Let's go buy the stuff!" I announced, leaving a note for Greg saying that we were leaving. "Everyone, get your asses in the car!"

Slowly all the members of the Akatsuki were piled in the car, Hidan was tied to the back, and Ana, Itachi and I were in the front.

I drove us back to my house. "Okay, boys and Konan," I said, shutting of my car. "Go in through my bedroom window."

Pein nodded, leading everyone into the back of the house. Ana and I walked to the house, opening the front door. "Oh, Jashin-sama!" Ana announced, covering her nose. "What is that smell?"

"My mother's boyfriend's gross cigarettes," I told her, leading her out of the room. "I'm home~"

"Hey, honey," my mother greeted me, putting in an earring in. "We're heading out now."

"Okay," I replied, waving good-bye to her and her boyfriend.

After they closed the door, I sighed. "Looks like a slut," I glowered, shaking my head. "Let's get Sasori and have him grab the things we need from the basement," I said, addressing Ana.

"Okay~"

We went upstairs, entering my room. "Hello, my kittens," I greeted them. "Lovely, I need you."

Deidara started laughing. "You better get going, Lovely, hmm."

I yanked Deidara's hair. "Only _I _can call Sasori Lovely," I informed him. "Come one, Sasori," I took his hand in mine, leading him downstairs. "My mother just left, so we don't have to be afraid of being found out."

"Okay…" he said his face completely blank. "Where are we going?"

"The basement, so I can rape you," I told him, jokingly.

"What?"

"I was kidding…" I told him. "We're going to the basement to get wood and tools because I want you to teach me how to make puppets."

"You were serious about that?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied, smiling. "You'll teach me, right?"

"If you're serious about it, I will," he responded, shooting me a glance.

"I'll do my best," I saluted.

"Why are you so hung up on me?" he asked. "Clingy, I mean?"

"Well because I love you," I muttered, opening the door to the basement. "I mean, not like _that_, well yes like that, but no, that's creepy. I mean, it's…oh…you're my favorite Akatsuki member and I love your character. See? It's not like I _love _you. It's…oh…I…never mind."

Sasori started to laugh, not chuckle, but full out laugh. With a smile on his face!

I cheered, hugging him. "What are you doing?" he asked.

I pulled away from him, blushing. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "It's just, you looked really cute when you smiled, so…" I looked towards the ground. "Sorry…"

I lead him down the stairs into the basement, and showed him the tools. "Pick out whatever you need," I told him, going over my stocks of wood.

"Okay, thanks," he muttered as he began going through my tools.

**Boom! The end. I tried to add more Akatsuki dialogue; next chapter will have more too.**

**I hope you liked it! Leave a review if you'd like too~**

**Loves and hugs, minions!**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello? I'm back~**

**Another day another chapter~**

**Disclaimer: Do you think that I'll suddenly get the rights to Naruto after six chapters of not having them?**

I kicked open my door, since both Sasori's and my own arms were full of various woods and tools. "What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?" Hidan exclaimed.

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid bastard!" Ana shouted.

I dropped this stuff I held, string at the scene before me in shock. Ana was on Hidan's back, trapping him in a headlock as he ran around the room, trying to throw the girl off of himself.

"Why the fuck is she doing this to me?" he demanded, trying to get her to let go.

"Why the fuck are you so annoying?" she replied, tightening her grip on his neck.

"Get! The Fuck! Off!" Hidan shouted, finally succeeding in getting Ana off of him. She crashed into me, knocking me into Sasori, who, thankfully, didn't fall to the floor, but held the two of us up, although the sup[plies that he was holding clattered to the floor just like mine.

Ana growled something about how sly that bastard was, picking up one of the tools, running at the silver haired Jashinist, stabbing him in the neck with it.

"The Fuck?!" Hidan shouted as Ana began chopping at his neck. Eventually she just grabbed his head, ripping it off. "What the fuck? Put my fucking head back on, you damned bitch!"

"Take this, Tobi!" Ana shouted, throwing Hidan's head at the masked man, who didn't see it coming and fell over. "Strike!" Ana announced, jumping up and down in excitement.

"Well, anyway," I rolled my eyes, putting the tools into my toy shopping cart along with the wood, shooting glares at Ana. "I think, Ana Rae should clean up Hidan's blood from my room, and Pein, Itachi, and Kakuzu are in charge while Sasori teaches me about puppet making downstairs."

"No, wait! I wanna come too!" Ana exclaimed, rushing to me. "I'll clean it later, I swear!"

"Clean it now because if it stains I'll find a way to send Itachi back," I threatened. "Once it's clean, and Pein and Konan agree, and if you do the work yourself, then you can come down to learn how to make puppets."

"No fair," Ana mumbled, pulling out the cleaning supplies from the closet in the hallway. "You just want to keep Sasori all to yourself."

"Well, yes, there's that," I admitted. "But I also don't enjoy having a blood stained floor, so…"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Ana replied, rolling her eyes as she got to work.

"Does anyone else want to come too?" I offered.

Kisame raised his hand tentatively. I nodded. "Come on," I allowed him to come. "Anyone else?"

"Tobi wants to-"

"NO!" Kisame, Sasori, and I shouted in unison.

"I'll come, hmm," Deidara said, walking over to us.

I held out my hand, stopping him. "Promise not to blow anything up," I demanded.

His face fell. "Do I have to, yeah?"

"Yes, you do," I replied, glaring at him.

"Fine then! I promise, yeah!" he said, holding up his hands in surrender, going to stand next to Kisame.

"No one else?" I asked.

"I wanna come," Ana muttered, glaring at Hidan's blood.

"You can come later," I responded. "No one else? No? Okay, we'll be right downstairs if you need us."

I handed my toy shopping cart to Kisame to carry as we went out into the hall. "Oh, yeah, and Kakuzu?" I called. "Can you reattach Hidan's head?"

"Will I get paid?" he replied.

"You might if you do a good job," I replied, continuing down the hall.

I led them down the stairs and collapsed onto the floor in the living room. "Here we are!" I said, patting the spot next to me for Sasori to sit.

He nodded, following my instructions, sitting cross-legged on the floor right beside me. Kisame placed the cart in front of us and sat next to Sasori on the left, while Deidara sat across from us all.

Once we were settle, Sasori began explaining what true art was (earning snide remarks from Deidara), and how we had to understand that before we could continue with the lessons.

Unlike what Deidara would do, Sasori kept his explanations short and to the point, donning a blank face that would only change to an annoyed one when one of us did something stupid, like Deidara trying to feed his hand-mouths the wood.

"Nope, un!" he exclaimed. "I can't infuse my chakra into this, yeah!"

"You're not supposed to, you dunce!" I exclaimed, slapping him over the head. "You're supposed to add strings of chakra to control it, you don't blow it up."

"Whatever, I'm bored, yeah," Deidara replied, pouting.

"Aw, too bad, you poor baby," I replied in the same voice I used when my brother was upset for no reason. "Get over it, sweet cheeks, because you signed up for this class so you're going to sit through it and enjoy it!"

"Okay, okay, hmm," he replied, motioning for Sasori to continue.

Sasori nodded, beginning to talk. "The main things you need to remember when making a puppet is style and function. You have to create your own specific style to make a puppet your own," he said, pulling out a scroll and summoning his Third Kazekage puppet.

"Sasori's style is modification," I told the others excitedly. "He makes puppets out of humans and modifies their bodies to become either great weapons or a fantastic defense."

"Exactly," Sasori said, shooting me a glance. "Function includes durability, multiple places for hidden weapons, and easy to control with chakra strings. If it's too large or too heavy, it won't be as easy to control as a smaller puppet, but if the puppet's too small there won't be enough room for the weapons and mechanisms. You should also ensure that your weapons can kill. Do any of you know how to ensure this?"

"Oh, oh, me! I know! I know!" I exclaimed, raising my hand.

"Anyone besides Kalika?" Sasori sighed, looking over to Kisame and Deidara.

"You blow them up?" Deidara offered, giving a goofy smile.

"Absolutely not," Sasori scowled. "You spend time and skill to make puppets unlike what you call 'art,' this is refined and beautiful, intended to last for an eternity."

"Unless someone releases termites on the," Kisame snickered, whispering in Deidara's ear.

"If you put poison in your weapons it would make sure that the enemy would die, especially if you create a new complex poison, like Sasori did," I grinned. "Deidara just blows stuff, which is cool, but Sasori thinks things through, as expected of the coolest member of the Akatsuki…"

"Kiss up," Kisame coughed into his hand.

"Tomorrow's dinner," I replied, coughing in my hand.

"Fake art," Deidara coughed, joining in.

"Transvestite," I coughed.

"Moron," Deidara replied.

"Freak."

"…" Deidara seemed to be thinking of a response.

"And I'm the moron," I rolled my eyes. "You can't even come up with a good comeback. Please continue, Sasori."

He glared at all of us in turn before continuing once again. "As I was saying-"

"I'm here~" Ana announced, coming off the staircase with Itachi following her. "Did you miss me?"

"No," I replied, earning a glare from her.

"I'm gonna kick you," she threatened.

My eyes widened and I hid behind Sasori. "Sasori wouldn't allow that," I insisted, pulling Sasori into a sitting position, since he was talking while standing up.

"If you're going to keep interrupting, I won't teach you about the art of puppet making," Sasori sighed, glaring at us.

I pouted, looking down guiltily, as did Ana, who came over to sit beside me, and Itachi sat in between Deidara and Kisame, Deidara moving closer to us.

"Sorry," Ana and I muttered.

Sasori sighed again, continuing the lecture.

*_A couple of hours later_*

"This is the ugliest piece of shit I've ever seen," I deadpanned, looking at my puppet.

"It doesn't have to be pretty," Sasori replied. "If it functions properly then it's art. If it lasts, then it's art."

"Aw, shucks," I smirked, connecting more pieces.

"Hey, I made Kika!" Ana exclaimed, holding up the super-short puppet with a large bust that she had made.

"Hey, I'm not that short," I insisted indignantly, crossing my arms. "And my boobs aren't that big!"

"I don't know, it looks just like her, hmm," Deidara agreed, earning a smile from Ana.

"Well, except for the fact that Kika has a face and wears clothes and isn't made of wood," Kisame added, shrugging. "Add that to the fact that the puppet can't talk, and it's all-around better than Kika."

"I bet it's not as good as me in bed!" I replied. "Just ask Konan! I slept with her last night!"

Suddenly, the laughter ceased and it was quiet, and five pairs of eyes were staring at me. I blushed. "I mean, not like _that_," I continued. "I slept in her bed and didn't kick her, and I sure as _hell_ didn't giggle like a little girl in my sleep like Pein did."

Ana was the first one to break the silence, snorting. "Pein giggles in his sleep?" she asked, laughing.

"Like a little girl," I confirmed. "Like hu-hehehe!"

Then the whole room was filled with laughter, except for Sasori who was glaring at the interruption of his lesson.

"So, anyway, when can I put poisoned weapons in this thing?" I asked, curiously.

"Are you finished with the model?" Sasori asked, looking over my piece.

"Wait!" Ana interrupted. "Kika's not allowed any sharp things or anything dangerous that could harm herself or others."

I snorted. "It's not like I'd kill myself if I…" I trialed off. "Good point. Sorry, Sasorio, no weapons or poisons."

"Sasorio?" Kisame questioned.

"Because it's hurtful to the man pride he has to be called Lovely, I'm sure," I explained. "Not to mention that if I called him Frank, I think he would get mad."

"I like it! Hey, Sasorio~" Ana jeered, laughing.

I swatted her arm. "Shut up," I told her, hiding behind Sasori a little. "That's my substitute for the name Lovely, so just like the name Lovely, only I can call him Sasorio, if I feel like it."

"All of you just finish your puppets so we can move to the final step," Sasori commanded, annoyed at everyone talking about him.

"Hey, short stuff," Kisame called to me. "Why is your puppet your size?"

"Well, there are two reasons, and don't call me short stuff," I began. "First off, I should be able to control a puppet that's my exact size more easily than one bigger or smaller than me, hence being able to fight without restraint."

"Very good," Sasori nodded at my logic.

"And the second reason, hmm?"

"So that I could plan my daily outfits with it and see how they'd look on me," I grinned. "Or I could pretend I'm a Barbie and this is a Ken and have a doll romance~"

"Didn't you ruin all your Barbie dolls?" Ana asked, remembering my pierced, demon Barbie dolls with cut and dyed hair.

"Yes, since our dolls are extensions of ourselves, that's how I saw myself when I did those particular things to those dolls," I sighed, putting awkward pauses between each word.

"I'm gonna go dress it up," I told them, standing up as I walked to the stairs.

"Kalika?" a strained voice sounded behind me.

I turned around, staring. "Oh fuck."

**What happened? Is it a psycho ex-boyfriend? Is it a psycho **_**current **_**boyfriend? Or…is it something else entirely?**

**Who knows? Well, besides me, of course!**

**Loves and hugs, minions,**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	8. Chapter 8

**So? What are **_**you **_**doing? Nothing much? Reading an awesome fanfic? Which one, I love reading! Oh, mine? Oh, stop, you'll make me blush. You will stop *shocked*. Well, then!**

**Disclaimer: do you **_**think **_**Naruto's mine?**

"_Kalika," I heard a strained voice say from behind me._

_I turned around. "Oh, fuck."_

Ana stood up, trying to block the people in the living room from view.

"Hello…mother," I grimaced, waving awkwardly.

She and her boyfriend stood in the doorway, staring at me, well, in my mother's case, glaring at me. "Kalika, who are these people?" she asked, and I could tell she was really trying to remain calm.

"What people?" I asked, looking around. "You're you. I'm me. Michael's a jerk, I mean Michael. And Ana is Ana."

She glared at me, gritting her teeth. "That's not what I mean," she replied. "I'm talking about the people that Ana is trying, and failing, may I add, to hide."

Ana winced, moving aside.

"Mom, they're just some friends," I shrugged. "It's really no biggy."

"Oh, and you didn't think to tell me that your friends would be coming over tonight?" she demanded, showing her anger.

"Well, isn't it kind of the same as you _not _telling me that your boyfriend was coming up from Georgia for two months?" I asked.

"That's different-"

"I don't see how," I responded, letting anger drip into my voice.

"If I had told you that he was coming, you would've demanded to stay with your father," she growled.

"Well, obviously," I rolled my eyes. "Too bad I wouldn't be able to because he's away for work for the next two months. Isn't that convenient?"

"Are you implying that I planned it this way?"

"I'm implying that you're trying to force your life onto me and trying to force me to be happy for you," I growled, turning to the others in the living room. "Let's go upstairs."

"But I didn't-" Kisame started, but I shot him a glare and he immediately shut up.

The Akatsuki members that were in the living room stood up and walked behind me as I started towards the stairs, Ana trailing behind them.

"Don't you walk away from me," my mother shouted, cutting me off. "All of you, go home," she commanded, glaring. "That includes you, Ana."

"Don't tell my friends what to do," I retorted, taking a step up to her. "You can't tell me how to live my life and you sure as hell can't tell them how to live _their _lives."

"Do not talk to me like that! I am your mother and you will respect me!" she shouted.

"Respect is a two-sided thing! Give me respect and then I'll respect you!"

"Respect is given and not expected," she retorted. "I don't have to put up with you, you know? I don't have to put in thousands of dollars for you to go to school, _and_ I don't have to buy you everything that you want when you want it! You are just a spoiled brat!"

"If you don't wanna pay for my school, then don't," I smirked. "I'll just go to West Haven High-"

"No, you won't," she threatened.

"Then don't bring that up as an issue," I glared. "_You_ don't buy me anything. I pay for them by watching _your_ son! _And if you don't want to put up with me_, THEN WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU LET ME LIVE WITH MY FATHER?!" I demanded, yelling.

"Holy fuck, Kika's pissed," Ana whispered, taking a step back.

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT! BEING A SPOILED BRAT AND A BITCH WON'T GET YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE!" she shot back at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" I demanded, shaking in anger. "I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANYTHING I WANTED IN THE PAST YEAR SINCE YOU STARTED FUCKING UP MY LIFE! I DIDN'T WANT THE DIVORCE, **YOU **WANTED THE DIVORCE, AND YOU GOT IT. I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO DATE THIS DOUCHEBAG, BUT YOU ARE! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK ABOUT MOVING TO GEORGIA, BUT YOU DO!"

"Kalika Lilith Dylan Pazuzu Marvil," my mother warned. "You are making a scene-"

"And you say that you understand how I feel and that you won't force me to do anything that I don't want to do!" I exclaimed. "But whenever I tell you _anything_, you conveniently forget it by the next day!"

"Kalika, hand over your phone and your iPod, right now," she held out her hand. "And you cannot use the computer. And it's not even a _possibility_ that you will live with you father."

"Should we stop them?" Kisame whispered to Ana, who I assumed, shook her head.

"Don't," Ana warned quietly.

"Oh, so now you're isolating me from society? I'm so scared!"

"Stop with the attitude," she growled. "I refuse to let you be disrespectful. Get over it, sweet cheeks, because nothing's going to change that."

"I'm sick of your bullshit!" I exclaimed. "I just want you to stay out of my life! Get over THIS, _sweet cheeks_, because this is your new reality! You have a daughter that hates you and refuses to give you respect!"

"I haven't fucked up your life! You're just a spoiled little girl, nothing more nothing less!"

I began walking to the door, grabbing the keys to the Volkswagen.

"Where do you think you're going? You don't even have a license," my mother objected.

"Who the fuck cares?" I asked, turning around, picking up my purse with my phone, iPod, and wallet in it. "You're a terrible mother, nothing more! Nothing less! I hate your fucking guts!"

"You get your ass over here!" she demanded as I walked through the door.

I popped my head into the room, grinning. "And see if I come home, you fucking bitch," I replied. "I'd rather kill myself than have to see your face again!"

My mother fell silent, going up the stairs slowly. I rolled my eyes, storming out of the house. Ana rushed out, grabbing my arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with her?" Kisame demanded as they followed us out.

"She was fucking out of line," Ana growled, stomping her foot. "You're coming to live with me until she gets her fucking act together!"

I shook my head. "That's the first place she'd look," I replied, getting into the car. "I'm going to drive around for a while, if you want to come, come," I said, starting the car.

Kisame pushed Sasori towards the car, and when Deidara was about to opened the door for himself, Kisame sent him a glare that could match up to Itachi's. Deidara nodded, "I'll stay here, un," he said.

"Whatever," I replied. "If you're coming, Sasori, then get in the car."

He nodded, getting into the passenger seat. I backed out of the driveway, waving to Ana and the others as we went.

After about an hour and a half of driving around with nowhere to go, Sasori turned to me. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I'm just driving. Where do you wanna go?"

"You haven't eaten all day," he shrugged. "Let's go somewhere to get food."

"Okay," I grinned. "Let's go to…Buffalo Wild Wings!" I cheered, getting excited.

"How can you be so calm?" he asked, sounding like he really didn't care. "Just a while ago, you were pissed off, threatening to kill yourself."

"Well, you see, if you weren't here, I'd probably have crashed the car, left the wreckage, and gotten a whole fuck load of tattoos."

He remained silent, nodding. "I'm glad you're here, by the way," I shrugged. "Thanks."

He looked at me, donning that bored expression. "I didn't do anything though…"

"Just being here is enough," I grinned, pulling into the parking lot of Buffalo Wild Wings. "Uh…can I…?" I trailed off, looking to him.

"Can you what?" he asked.

"Never mind," I shrugged, hopping out of the car, and skipping to the other side to open the door for Sasori.

He got out, nodding in acknowledgement. I looked up at him, grabbing his collar, and pulling him down to me, kissing him full on the lips.

**Short chapter/not a lot of Akatsuki, but a lot of drama. I'm sorry for that. That's just the conversation I had with my mother two nights ago, and I'm still not talking to her, but apparently my father's taking his side even though he doesn't like her at all.**

**Fucking life. I hate them. Like you don't understand.**

**But what about the kiss? What's wrong with my mind! I'm kind of hoping in the next chapter, Sasori'll kill her for doing that, but…you know…that would be wack, so…**

**Anyways, I may hate my family, but I love you, my minions. **

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	9. Chapter 9

**Heyo! Long time not read, right? I didn't update yesterday! Shucks, I'm really tired! But great news! Oh…what was it again..? Oh, right! Yesterday I read Death Note: Another Note! I **_**loved**_** it, with a capital L. ha-ha, get it? Get it? Capital **_**L**_**? Because L is the best character ever in Death Note? Okay I'm done...**

**Oh, wait I heard this joke in church today during the homily. This one's for the golfers. You heard that you should always bring a spare pair of pants when you go golfing, right? Wanna know why? In case you get a **_**hole in one**_**! Ha-ha! Gold. There's another joke too, it's down at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto? Mine? You're kidding right?**

_He got out, nodding in acknowledgement. I looked up at him, grabbing his collar, and pulling him down to me, kissing him full on the lips._

I pulled away after a minute, giggling awkwardly. "Would you believe me if I told you there was something on your mouth?" I asked slowly.

He shook his head, walking ahead of me. I sighed, following behind him. "Why did you do that, Kika?" I asked myself; contemplating beating myself with a baseball bat.

Not paying attention to my surroundings, I walked right into the door. "Oof!" I looked up, trying to find the handle, only to realize something.

"Oh, Jashin!" I exclaimed. "Who would install an automatic door for a restaurant?"

I pouted, standing in front of the door with my arms crossed over my chest, muttering profanities. "Excuse me, ma'am?" someone asked from next to me. I turned to face him or them rather.

It was a whole family, mama, papa, big bother, little sister. "Yes?" I asked, eyeing them.

"Is there something wrong with the door?" the father asked.

I stared at them. "No," I replied simply.

"Then, why are you just standing there?" the mother asked, hiding her daughter behind herself.

"I'm not crazy!" I exclaimed. "I'm just short so they never open for me…"

The brother was the first to respond, letting out a hysterical laugh. "That's…" he started, but couldn't continue because he was laughing so hard.

"It's not funny," I whined. "What idiot would install an automatic door for a restaurant?" I demanded, kicking at rock by my feet.

The father laughed, joining his son's laughter as he walked in front of me, allowing the door to open. "There, problem solved," he said, smiling.

"Oh, happy days!" I exclaimed, hugging the man. "Thanks, mister!"

"Would you like to eat with us?" the mother asked, smiling gently.

"Oh…" I trailed off, thinking. _Sasori's probably mad at me, and I totally made things awkward…_ "Sure? Is that alright?"

"Of course," she laughed, entering the building with her family and me behind her. "So you can't get into a lot of places, can you?" she asked, walking next to me.

"Yeah, usually I go places with my best friend, Ana," I said. "Sometimes I go with Greg, but he's in a relationship now with a job and a house, so there's not a lot of free time."

"Is Ana here now?" she asked, looking around even though she didn't know what Ana looked like.

"Ah, no, but she would leave me out here as a joke," I muttered, remembering how she's done that to me at least three times. "I'm here with someone else, but…oh, drama," I sighed, shaking my head.

The mother laughed, nodding. "It surrounds us girls for some reason," she noted.

"And we don't forget," I added.

"Oh, we hold grudges!" she announced.

"Totally," I agreed, nodding.

"Hello, how many?" the waitress asked, getting ready to grab the menus.

"Five," the father answered.

The waitress nodded. "Right this way."

She led the five of us to the booths. "Is here alright?"

The father nodded, thanking the woman, and we sat down. I looked over the menu, suddenly feeling awkward because I was sitting with a whole family that I didn't know.

Another waitress came over soon after, laying down napkins for our drinks that we have yet to order. "Hello, my name is Lisa, and I will be serving you this evening," she greeted, smiling. "Can I start you out with something to drink?"

"Oh, first," I interrupted. "We have two separate bills, I and thee," I said, gesturing first to me and then to the others.

"Okay, that's fine," Lisa nodded.

"Coolio," I grinned. "You guys can start," I told the others.

"I'll have a Coke," the brother said aloofly, and the sister nodded in agreement.

"Me too! Me too!" she said, excitedly.

"I'll have an iced tea," the father said. "Unsweetened."

"And I'll have a Sprite," the mother said indecisively.

"Okay," Lisa said, nodding as she wrote down the drinks.

"Okay, can I have a cherry limeade?" I asked. "A Ceasar salad, no chicken or anything and a side of mac and cheese?"

"Oh, sure," she said, writing it down.

"Hmm," I said as she started to walk away. "Oh, uh…did you happen to see a bored looking red head here?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm serving him too," she replied. "He keeps glaring at the table, muttering things."

"Did he order anything?"

"So far just a lemonade," she said. "Why?"

"Put anything he orders on my bill too please," I said, ignoring her question.

"Oh…okay, yeah," she nodded, walking away.

I noticed the family staring at me. "What?" I asked, wishing I had my drink. "Just because there's drama doesn't mean I'm not going to pay for him."

"Do you want to go talk to him?" the mother asked.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" I repeated, shaking my head. "I'm good."

Lisa came back sooner than expected, placing the drinks on the table. "Here you go, are you guys ready to order?"

They nodded, ordering their food. After the waitress left, they turned back to me. "So what exactly is this 'drama'?" the father inquired, sipping his iced tea.

"Oh, you know…" I said awkwardly. "Stuff…"

The mother laughed at my blushing face, patting my arm. "I like you," she said excitedly. "You must be a riot at home!"

"Well, it depends on who you ask," I replied, letting some malice drip into my voice. "My mother would tell you that I'm a deadbeat. My father would tell you I'm an angel, and my brother wouldn't tell you anything because I paid him off."

"Sounds like us…" the brother muttered, sipping his drink.

"Christopher," the father warned, glaring at the boy who shrugged and muttered something along the lines of "What? It's true…"

"I'm sorry about him," the father said. "Teenagers…"

"I am," I said. "A teenager, I mean. Not sorry…I…never mind. So, my mother won't let me get a turtle because she says I'm not responsible."

"Same reason I can't have a dog," Chris replied.

"But I told her, I've kept three snakes, and they're alive and well after seven years, and they only get out once a week!" I shrugged. "I figured, since I can't stay in the house 24/7, neither should my babies."

"Oh, I would never let my children keep snakes," the mother shivered. "Creepy, slimy things."

"They're not actually slimy," I informed her. "It's a common misconception made by many people."

"Oh…" she nodded, looking at me skeptically.

"I also had ten cats at one point," I said, playing with a packet of sugar. "But they grew up, and my mom found out," I shrugged. "Not my precious kitties anymore…"

"You hid ten kittens from your mother?" the father asked incredulously.

"Yes, but it only lasted a few days because they turned into-" I broke off. "I mean, they got out of my room…"

"Oh," she nodded.

Lisa came back once again, giving me my salad and mac and cheese, asking if I needed anything else. "Um…could I have a coffee?" I asked, noticing my cup was empty.

She nodded. "Sure thing. I'll be right back."

"Take your time," I waved her off, resting my head on the palm of my hand. "So, Chris, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked boredly.

"Game designer," he replied.

"That's cool, what about you…?" I looked at the little girl, trying to think of her name.

"I'm Megan," she grinned, crawling up onto my lap. "I'm gonna be a ninja!"

"What!?" I exclaimed. "That's the coolest thing ever! You know~, some of my best friends are ninjas!"

"Normal little girls want to be princesses or the president, not ninjas…" the father muttered.

"Please don't encourage her," the mother sighed in response to what I had said.

"No, no! I'm serious! And I always wanted to be a ninja," I told them, nodding seriously. "But you can't really study for that and make a living with it, so I'm studying to become the world's greatest detective."

"A detective?" the mother asked, interested.

"Indeed," I nodded. "I'm gonna start taking deductive reasoning classes and the like when I go to college."

"What school do you go to now?" she asked, smiling.

"I graduated last year, but since I'm so young no college that _I _want to go to will let me in."

"Oh, how old are you?"

"Fifteen," I shrugged, twirling my hair.

"Oh, I see, so you must be-" the father began.

"Kalika," an annoyed voice said from our right, catching all of our attentions.

We turned around, and I saw it was Sasori, glaring at me. I smiled sheepishly. "Hey!" I greeted him, feigning being excited. "What's up?"

"Why aren't you at the table?" he asked, not seeming to care.

"I~ thought you were mad at me," I sang, smirking.

"I am, but I don't like sitting alone," he said, blinking.

"Then come sit with us," I told him, patting the seat next to me. "Because I'm making friends right now."

He nodded, sliding in next to me, creating an awkward atmosphere as I ate the mac and cheese. "Do you want some?" I asked, holding a spoonful out for him.

At first he looked like he was going to refuse, but then decided to try it, nodding. "It's good," he said, not looking impressed.

I laughed, trailing off. "Yeah…" I finished the mac and cheese just as Lisa came back "Can I have the bill?" I asked.

She nodded, handing it to me. "Do you want a box for your salad?"

"No thank you," I replied, handing her the money as I stood up, waving good-bye to my new friends. "See you around~"

I grabbed Sasori's hand, leading him to the exit. As soon as we exited the building, I released Sasori from my grasp, trying to find the car.

After about ten minutes of searching fruitlessly, Sasori growled, dragging me to the car. "Oh…" I muttered, getting into the car, Sasori following suit. "Buckle up."

"Yup," he replied, following my instructions.

I started the car, beginning to drive off, neither one of us saying anything. I flicked on the radio, hating the silence.

_If I get drunk, well, I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you. And if I haver, hey, I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you. But I would walk five hundred miles and I-_

I changed the channel quickly.

_I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down. I feel my heart start to tremble, whenever you're around~_

I pushed the button again, changing the station.

_It's oh so quiet~ shh shh. It's oh so still~ shh shh. You're all alone~ shh shh. And so peaceful until…you fall in love-_

I changed the station again, getting irritated.

_Women, not girls, they rule my world (shit they rule my world~) act your age, mama (not your shoe size), not your shoe size, maybe we can do the twirl~ you don't have to be rich, to be my girl. You don't have to be cool to rule my world-_

I smashed the button, turning the radio off. "Stupid music…" I muttered, following down my window.

"Where are we going?" Sasori asked, staring out of his own window.

"Home," I replied shortly, pulling into the driveway a short while later.

I hopped out of the car, locking it once Sasori shut his door, and went around back to sneak into my room. I climbed up the lattice work while Sasori just used his chakra to go up the wall.

He climbed in first, and I followed soon after, immediately spotting Ana and Itachi on my bed. "Oh, lordy, please no!" I begged, squeezing my eyes shut.

"We didn't do anything," Ana insisted, pecking Itachi's nose. "Just kissed a little."

I looked to Pein to confirm this and he nodded. "Like I would let them do anything else in front of us," he said before welcoming up back.

"How was your ride~?" Ana asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

I walked to my closet, pulling out my suitcase. "What?" I asked, looking to her. "Oh, it was fine."

"But…?" she prodded.

"But-" I started, but was cut off by the beeping of my phone. I answered it, seeing it was a text from my daddy. I grinned, reading what it said. "_But_~ you can stay here with the Akatsuki if you want, it's been confirmed, and my mother doesn't actually care."

"Oh, that's great! So now we can stay together!" Ana smiled. "That's great…right?"

"Yeah, except I'm going to live with my father," I said, with a small smile etched on my face.

**Sorry, another cliff hanger, but I knew how much you wanted to hear the second joke!**

**Okay, second joke! Okay, so two brother's went to their grandfather's house for the weekend. They really loved going there because there was this fun rope they could swing on, but the brothers always fought over who would go first, so the grandfather thought this would be a great time for a lesson, so he sat the two brothers down and told them a story from the bible and concluded with "So you see, children, Jesus would always allow his brothers and sisters to go first from the kindness of his heart." So the older brother turns to the younger brother and says to him, "Sorry, Jim," he says. "Today, you can be Jesus."**

**So I ordered a Caesar salad yesterday, and the waitress asked me what dressing I wanted on it. Like…Caesar, duh?! So it came, with the wrong type of lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers. For those of you who don't know me, I absolutely hate cucumbers and tomatoes make me sick to my stomach.**

**Reviews are cool and earn you a virtual cookie!**

**Anyways, loves and hugs, minions!**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: if Naruto was mine then there would be a character named Kalika who would just go around raping people. Wouldn't that be interesting?**

"I'm going to live with my father," I said, giving a small smile.

Everyone in the room seemed to freeze, staring at me. Ana was the first to outwardly react. She pulled away from Itachi and made her way to me.

"What? Why?" she demanded, gripping my shoulders.

"Because I hate being here," I said, swiping her hands away.

"But do you hate me!?" she demanded, replacing her grip on my shoulders.

"Ana," I sighed. "You know how it is when I'm in this house. It's not like we'll never see each other again."

"But…it's farther away," she replied, giving me a pouty face.

"Hey, love, remember your family's leaving on Saturday for Texas," I reminded her. "I'm sure you can stay at with us there."

"Yeah, I _can_," she rolled her eyes, going back to my bed. "But it won't be as fun if we can't mess with your brother~"

"He'll be visiting too," I told her. "Wednesday night and the weekends."

"Well, I suppose that's fine, but what about them," she asked, gesturing to the Akatsuki. "If you bring just _one_ guy home, you're father's gong to freak!"

I giggled, throwing some clothes into the suitcase. "My dad said if I ever brought George Berger home, he would beat him up," I told her, grinning.

"I don't know who that is," she replied, laughing. I sighed, going over to my desk, picking up my laptop and powering it up.

"I will _show_ you George Berger," I told her, going onto YouTube. "Come on~" I groaned, shaking the screen. "Load~!"

"You're so impatient," she giggled.

"But it's taking _forever_, Rae Rae!" I told her. "Oh, never mind! It's done!"

Typing in _I Got Life Hair 1979_, I quickly pressed enter, drumming my finger impatiently.

"You type too fast," Ana noted, twirling Itachi's hair around her finger.

"It's up!" I announced, clicking the movie version. I handed it to Ana, telling her that _that_ was George Berger.

She sat watching, bobbing her head to the song after the first verse. Once the song ended, she giggled, handing the laptop back to me. "He has girl's hair," she told me.

"I know, but it was a different time~" I sighed, really wishing I was born in that era.

"Stop wishing you were a teen in the seventies!" Ana said, hitting me over the head.

"What? I wouldn't! I would _never_!" I told her, feigning being insulted.

"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes. "And I don't love Itachi-Chan~" she cooed, cuddling with Itachi, who nonchalantly laid his arm around her shoulders.

"Well, I'm gonna finish packing now," I told her, feeling awkward. I went over to my mini bookshelf, mulling over everything. "Hey~ Rae Rae?"

"Yeah?"

"Which movies should I bring?" I asked, biting my thumb like L from Death Note.

"Naruto, Death Note, Bleach, Halloween," she listed off. "Musicals, and~ that's it!"

"Okay," I replied, grabbing them. "I'll take Loveless too. Just because if someone decides to go into my room and touch my stuff, they won't be tempted to watch it."

"Sounds good," she nodded, taking the DVDs from me and putting them into the suitcase. "Sasori, help us, will you?" she asked the redhead.

"Rae Rae, should I take my journal or my Death Note?" I asked, holding one in each hand.

"Oh…" she paused from whatever she was going through. "Take them both and get rid of your calendar."

"Good idea!" I complimented, throwing the two books into my bag.

"What's in your journal, un?" Deidara asked, reaching out to grab it.

I stabbed his hand with a thumb tack, glaring at him. "That is where I write about how much I hate the world and life and how much I wish everything will disappear," I replied cheerily.

"You stabbed me, hmm!" he exclaimed, pulling the tack out of his hand.

"No, I didn't," I replied innocently, giving him a smile.

"Yes, you did!"

"I don't know what you're talking about~" I hummed, leaving his side to go grab my paints. "Hey, Sasori, bring me that bucket?" I asked, walking over to the suitcase.

I turned around, almost crashing into said redhead who was holding out the bucket. I took it from him, placing it down on the bed. "Thanks."

"Hn," he nodded, going to help Deidara with my stuffed animals.

"Do you want all of these, hmm?" he asked, holding a bunch in his arms.

"All of them!" I replied, grabbing all my batman stuff, throwing it down onto the bed.

*_A Few Hours Later_*

"Jashin! I'm tired," I sighed, stretching my back, looking at my bare room.

"Same~ here," Ana replied, stepping up next to me. "So…where are we gonna sleep?"

I stared at her, opening my mouth to respond, but I realized, I didn't have a response. "I…don't know…" I looked around. "If we move my suitcases downstairs so that they'll be ready for when my daddy comes tomorrow, then we can sleep on the bed and pullout?"

"I concur," she nodded. "My precious Itachi-kun will help, right?"

He nodded, letting slip a small smile as he picked up on of the larger bags. Ana grabbed two carry-ons, and I grabbed a few too, opening the door.

"Sasori, what are you doing?" Ana demanded. "Help us! Help us!"

"Yeah, Sasori, hmm," Deidara taunted.

"You too, Blondie!" Ana shouted, already on the stairs.

"Aw damn, un!"

I threw my bags down in the living room, noticing how everything was cleaned up. "Wow~" I nodded my approval.

"Yeah, I cleaned it," Ana bragged, nudging me.

"I'm sure you did," I rolled my eyes. "You probably made Hidan and Tobi do it because they're terrified of you."

Ana giggled. "You know me so well," she informed me.

Suddenly a tumbling noise rang out as something fell down the stairs. That something was Deidara and all my bags. "Hey, Blondie, did you break anything?" Ana demanded, glaring at the bomber.

"No, un…I'm okay-"

"I don't _care_ about you," she replied. "I mean, her stuff!"

"No, nothing broke, hmm," he growled, standing up angrily. "Because I cushioned their fall, hmm!"

"Oh, wah wah!" Ana sassed.

"So, why'd you fall anyway?" I asked, laughing.

"My man, Sasori, pushed me, yeah," he replied, pouting.

"He-he," I let out. "You probably deserved it."

"Why does everyone assume that I deserve being pushed down the stairs, un?" he demanded, stomping to the kitchen.

"Don't blow anything up!" I yelled after him, trying not to laugh. I turned to the others, thinking. "Do we have anymore bags upstairs?"

"I…think so?" Ana replied, looking to Itachi for confirmation.

"I don't know," he replied, looking to Sasori.

"The brat was the last one in there," Sasori said, heading back up the stairs.

"Does anyone else think that Deidara has the hots for Sasori?" Ana asked. "I mean, he's always saying 'my man' to address Sasori, so…you know…"

"I don't know what goes through the minds of blonde pyromaniacs," I said, following Sasori back up to my room.

"Touché," I heard Ana respond, and knew she was nodding towards Itachi. After a few seconds, I heard them start up the stairs too.

**Well, sorry it's so short. I'm not really in the writing mood today. I've been working on this chapter for two days now, and I can't even…**

**Sorry again.**

**Reviews are welcome.**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	11. Chapter 11

**Woooow! What have I been doing? Not updating for like a week, stupid Vee. Stupid! Baka! Baka! In my defense, I was watching various Kenichi Matsuyama movies. If you don't know who he is, he's the love of my life and an amazing actor. Oh, and I've recently gotten addicted to Pretty Little Liars!**

**Disclaimer: Although I do not own Naruto (or Kenichi-kun), I do happen to own your very souls, aaaand I need to thank my Rae Rae for helping me with this chapter.**

A loud crash echoed through the house and reverberated through my room, causing me to twitch slightly before squeezing my eyes shut tighter. I flipped over, facing my wall, trying to block out the sun's annoyingly bright rays from my eyes. Letting out a sharp hiss of breath, I shoved my turtle over my face, trying to cling to the last bit of sleep that I knew I would lose.

Another crash rang out and I flipped back onto my back, my eyes shooting open. I glared at the ceiling, wrinkling my nose. I groaned, pounding my fists into the fluffy top of my bed.

I sat up sharply, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, looking at the clock. _10:15__AM_, it read. I sighed through my nose, storming out the room, slamming my door shut on my way out.

"Where are those fuckers?" I growled. As soon as the last word left my mouth, another crash sounded. I smiled maliciously, flying down the stairs and shooting into the kitchen.

I plucked up a knife, stomping my way into my, now demolished, dining room.

And look at the sight I see, broken chairs, smashed plates, and in the middle of it all, one Ana Rae Black on a computer and two Akatsuki members standing on each side of her, shooting daggers at her with their eyes, Ana shooting them right back.

"I don't give a fuck what you think, Michael would make a fucking badass Jashinist!" Ana growled, glaring in Hidan's direction.

"Oh, fucking please! That cunt couldn't throw a fucking kunai!" Hidan retorted, scowling.

"Because you can't throw stuff in Minecraft!" Ana exclaimed, turning back to whatever she was doing.

"Can he blow stuff up, hmm?" Deidara asked, looking over her shoulder curiously.

"Yes, but he's saving it for a special time like a _smart_ person," Ana sassed, switching the ear that her ear bud was in, smirking in Deidara's direction.

I tightened my grip on the handle of the knife, contemplating to either interrupt them and stab one of them or to let Ana kill them both (or as dead as that retarded Jashinist can get) for dissing that thing that she likes…but, unfortunately for me, the two Akatsuki members left Ana's side to go do something stupid in a different room.

Itachi sighed, standing up from the lone chair that hasn't been demolished. He made his way over to Ana's side, sitting down next to her and leaning in close enough to her to see the screen.

"So explain this again," he said, watching her watch a video.

Ana flashed him a smile, turning to face him. "Well, there are these groups of guys: Jack, Geoff, Gavin, Joel, Ray, Ryan, and Michael and probably some others I don't know yet and they're in a company type- thing called roosterteeth on YouTube in an Achievement Hunter gang. They're like a bunch of children. They make videos of them playing video games. I think they're funny. Kika never pays attention when I talk about them, so she doesn't even know they exist. My favorite is Let's Play Minecraft. Minecraft is a game where you build shit and blow shit up. I love it."

I rolled my eyes, walking over to them. "I know they exist," I replied, bored. "Those videos are the only thing my brother does all day. I just chose to ignore them because they bore me."

"Blah blah blah," she rolled her eyes, turning back to the screen. "How was your sleep, love?"

"It would've been fine if _some_ little fucking assholes were making too much noise, cutting my sleep time by, oh it don't know," I smiled sickeningly sweetly, checking my invisible watch. "Three hours."

Ana laughed, standing up, her eyes fixated on the knife. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," she backed up, laughing nervously. "There's no need for that, now is there?"

My mouth twitched in a smile and I brought the knife up, tracing my fingers over the blade. "Oh~ I think it is," I replied, humming.

"Holy fuck that bitch is gonna kill the bigger bitch!" a voice came from the doorway.

"You," I growled, advancing on him. "_You_ probably started the whole fucking argument!"

"Whoa, whoa, don't bitch at me!" he exclaimed.

I raised the knife threateningly. "I'm out three hours of sleep because of you. I'm going to kill you," I smiled, tilting my head to the side.

"Shit, somebody stop her," Ana whispered, mainly to Itachi.

"You're going to die!" I shouted, holding the knife over my head. "I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!" I exclaimed, the knife slicing through the air towards Hidan's eyes.

Arms wrapped around my torso, pulling my back. "I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!" I shouted, struggling to get out of the person's grip. "I DRINK IT UP!"

"LET GO OF MY, YOU JERK," I shouted, jerking my arms around, wriggling my body. "AAAAAAAAAHHH-"

I broke off, falling limp into the person's arms. Obviously he wasn't expecting it, and I fell to the floor, the knife sliding across the room. I stayed still, my eyes closing, my head lulling to the side.

"Oh Jashin-sama," Ana gasped.

"Is she alright, hmm?" Deidara asked, turning around to glare at the one who dropped me. "What did you do that for, Danna, hmm?"

_Oh, so Sasori dropped me_, I mentally noted. "I didn't expect her to just go limp," he replied.

"Kika?" Ana asked, inching up to me, nudging my side with her foot. "Are…you okay?"

"I'm a corpse," I replied simply.

"What?"

"I have become a corpse," I said. "I cannot answer because I am dead."

I opened one eye to watch her reaction. She stood still for a moment before a smile spread over her face and she started to laugh. "Oh I love Beyond!" she exclaimed, laughing.

I giggled, sitting up. "Me too. As well."

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" Hidan demanded.

"Shut up! I'm still mad at your being," I growled.

"Me being what, bitch?" he challenged me.

"Your…" I paused, thinking, then burst out singing. "Being alive~"

"Oh, shit!" Ana slapped me in the face.

"What?" I demanded, pouting. "I was just singing…"

She grinned. "When's your next audition?" she asked.

I stared at her. "Tonight, why?" I asked. "When's yours?"

"Same," she rolled her eyes. "Don't you remember, for this audition you need to do a solo and then a duet? We're partners for that."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," I face palmed, rolling my eyes at my own stupidity. "What're you singing?"

"Don't know," she shrugged. "How about you?"

"Either The Wizard and I from Wicked, No Good Deed also from Wicked, Some People from Gypsy," I replied. "I can't decide. Oh, or Being Alive, just because I sing that really well."

"Well, sing, girl," she demanded. "And I'll tell you which one you should sing."

"How about," I grinned. "Instead of me singing, you listen to the songs and pick which one would fit my voice better."

She sighed. "That would work too…" she hummed, picking up her laptop.

*Approximately Twenty Five Minutes Later~*

Ana closed her laptop, smiling. "Some People, it's funnier~" she grinned. "I'm gonna sing Being Alive because I like it. What should we sing together?"

"Can I throw out two options?" I grimaced. "I'm in a Wicked phase, sorry~"

"You only like that musical so much because you wish you were born green," Ana giggled, swatting my shoulder. "Shoot."

"For Good or What is This Feeling?" I grinned sheepishly.

"Well, the first one's nicer, but the second one could prove that we can act, by acting like we hate each other," she wiggled her shoulders. "But I need to be Elphaba; I can't go as high Glinda."

"Okay," I giggled, heading to my computer desk and grabbing a blank CD. "I'll make a disk of our songs."

"Go, go," she giggled, waving me off.

I shrugged, skipping to the living room where my school laptop was charging. "Hello, my baby," I cooed, picking it up and turning it on. "Let's see, Libraries, click. Music, click. Karaoke, click. Being Alive, click, control, hold. Some People, click, control, still holding. What is This Feeling, click. Burn to disk, click. Okay, click-"

"Stop narrating everything you do out loud!" Ana shouted. "I'm watching Minecraft!"

"Sorry!"

My disk drive shot open, giving me my newly written on CD. "Perfect~" I cooed, picking up my purple sharpie and writing: _Guys and Dolls Audition: 1. Being Alive 2. Some People 3. What is This Feeling?_

"I did it~" I sang, placing the CD into a purple case and waving it around as I sauntered into the dining room, which was cleaned while I was gone.

"Gimme," she said, holding out her hand. "We need to practice!"

I pouted. "You just want to make me sing in front of them," I muttered.

"No," she scolded, slapping the back of my head. "I want you to get a part, baka!"

"Kay, well, you start," I shrugged, sitting against the wall.

"I already practiced before you woke up," she replied smugly.

"So you knew what you were gonna sing before I got up?" I asked, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Affirmative!" she giggled.

"Can we duet first?"

"No!' she replied, pulling me up onto my feet. She walked back to her laptop, clicking some buttons; soon the familiar tune blew through her speakers.

I took a deep breath before I stopped. "Pause it. Restart it, but don't play until I signal you," I told her.

"Why? What's up?"

"Need to get into character," I shrugged. "Todd! Get your worthless ass down here!" I shouted.

After a few moments, Todd pattered down the stairs, glaring at me. "What?" he asked.

"Be Papa," I told him. "Some People."

"How much will I get?" he asked, smoothing out his shirt.

"If you're good, twenty," I replied, fixing my hair.

"Deal," he replied, stepping into the room. "What good is filling her up with such bunk?" he demanded.

"It ain't bunk," I replied, stomping my foot.

"Nothing good is gonna happen to her or to June or to _you_," he growled.

"Well maybe not to me, but they're going to have a marvelous time," I retorted. "I'd be damned if I let them sit away their lives like I did, or like you do! With only that calendar on the wall to tell you one day from the next or—or that plaque from your rotten railroad company that says 'Congratulations for fifty years you did the same dull thing every dull day.'"

"That plaque," he replied angrily, making his way to the wall. "Is a great tribute! It's solid gold!"

"How much could you get for it?" I asked, my eyes widening.

"Rose, if you ever-" he began.

"Well, what good's it doing sitting up there!" I exclaimed, pointing angrily.

"That plaque belongs there like you belong home!" he shouted.

"Ugh! Anyone who sits home is dead," I replied, walking away from him. "If I die, it won't be from sitting! It'll be from fighting, to get up and Get Out!"

Ana started the music, right on time, and I smacked my hands on the table. "_Some people can get a thrill knitting sweaters and sitting still_," I sang. "_That's okay for some people who don't know they're alive~_"

I made my way towards him. "_Some people can thrive and bloom, living life in the living room. That's perfect for some people of one hundred and five~_"

"Alright, her mojo's on," Ana nodded.

Todd began storming into the living room and I followed after him. "_But I at least gotta try~ when I think of all the sights that I gotta see and all the places I gotta play, all the things that I've gotta be at. Come on, Papa, what do ya say?_"

Todd sat down on the recliner, picking up the newspaper. I glared at him. "_Some people can be content, playing bingo and paying rent_," I sang, smiling smug. "_That's peachy for some people, for some, hum, drum people to be~ But some people ain't me~_"

I looked at the bookshelf longingly. "_I had a dream~ a wonderful dream, papa_," I stood up. "_All about June and the Orpheum Circuit, give me a chance and I know I can work it! I had a dream~ just as real as can be, papa~_"

I sat back down, staring at Todd pleadingly. "_And all that I need is eighty-eight bucks, papa~ that's what he said, papa~ only eighty-eight bucks, papa-_"

"You ain't getting eight-eight cents from me, Rose," he replied, standing up and starting to make his way back to the dining room.

"Then I'll get it someplace else," I replied, also rising from my seat. "But I'll get it! And get my kids out! _Some people sit on their butts! Got the dreams, yeah, but not the guts! That's living for some people, for some, hum, drum people I suppose!_"

As I sang I put on a coat and hat and made my way to the dining, grabbing my purse on the way. "_Well they can stay and ROT_!" I sang, making my way over to the front door, taking the 'plaque.' "_But not Rose~_" I sang, opening the front door and closing it on the last note.

I waited two beats before going back in, smiling sheepishly. "So…?" I asked, taking off the extra articles of clothing that I had just put on and placing the bag on the floor.

"I think, we're gonna rock tonight," Ana grinned, pausing the CD.

**Sorry for the lame/uneventful chapter after making you wait…this chapter didn't really have anything so I bullshit all of it. Some People is actually one of my favorite songs, and if you wanna listen to it go onto the YouTube, and type in "Gypsy [1993 TV Movie] - "Some People"." That is my favorite version of said song.**

**Next chapter, you'll read Kika and Rae Rae's duet and the auditions, I suppose~ and if you wanna check that out, you can also go to the YouTube and type in "What Is This Feeling – Wicked."**

**Well as another chapter comes to a close, so too must I say: thank you for reviewing, following, and favoriting. It took me three hours to write this, almost four.**

**Loves and hugs, minions dearest~**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	12. Chapter 12

**So I should be doing my homework, but I felt I've made you wait long enough for this chapter. I just don't know what to write!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is to me as a Sasori plush is also to me.**

"Rae Rae," I whined, lying on the couch.

"What?" she replied, looking over to me from over the top of her laptop.

"Where's Sasori?" I asked, rolling over onto my stomach.

"Why don't you go look for him?" she offered, not really sounding like she cared.

"But that would entail me getting up off the couch," I whined. "Then I'd have to walk around and find him! I'm into much pain, and no one got time for that."

"Yeah, that's kind of what 'looking' would mean…Why are you in pain?" she said. "And, Jashin, why is it so hot?"

"I don't know, because it's summer? And I have my period." I retorted. "I got this. Todd!" I shouted, waiting for the boy to answer.

I heard him groan and slam the door shut, stomping down the stairs. "What do you want now?" he asked, angry because I refused to pay him for his prior service.

"Todd, I'm hurting," I whined.

"What's wrong?"

"I have cramps," I cried, twisting myself into a tight ball.

"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked, glaring at me.

"I need you to go upstairs and get my Pamprin from the medicine cabinet. It's on the top shelf in the middle compartment on the left," I explained.

Todd sighed. "Fine…"

He went up the stairs, his footsteps infinitely quieter than they were before. I rolled off the bed, low crawling to the empty corner before curling up into a ball. "I want to die!" I cried, trying to make the pain go away.

"I know how you feel, honey," Ana nodded, giving me a sympathetic glance before turning back to her screen.

"Where's Itachi?" I asked curiously, since they hadn't been separate since before they got together when Sasori and I went to dinner.

"Oh, he's around," she waved the concern away.

"How come whenever I'm a complete mess, you're all calm and shit?" I demanded.

"It's part of my vibe," she replied, smirking. "So what's up with you and you-know-who?"

"Voldemort?" I asked. "I don't have a relationship with that bald, no nosed freak!"

"Well, duh! He's, like, fifty-something!" she announced. "I'm talking about," she lowered her voice. "You and Sasorio.

"I told you, only I could call him that," I growled before sighing. "Ugh, Rae Rae, why am I so stupid?"

"Because you're mother accidently hit your soft spot on the doorframe when you were two weeks old?" she guessed, smiling.

"That might be it…" I agreed. "But it was a rhetorical question!"

"Oh, sorry," she giggled, pausing her video. "So, what's up with the 'stupid'?"

I took a deep breath. "I kissed Sasori," I let out before slapping my hands over my mouth.

"What? When?" she demanded.

"_When_? What do you mean 'when'? Obviously when you 'set us up' to go out for a drive!"

"So…? Are you going to tell me what happened so I could fix it or not?" she replied impatiently.

"Okay, so we were driving around, and I was all 'Gosh, I'm hungry. I'm thinking mac and cheese, how about you?' and he was like 'Well, I don't eat so I don't care,' so we went to Buffalo Wild Wings, because they have the best mac and cheese ever, so…" I paused to breath. "So something came over me and when we got out of the car, I grabbed his shirt and kissed him."

Ana waited for a few minutes, silence falling over us. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What happened next!?"

"He walked into the restaurant by himself," I frowned. "And I tried to go in, like five minutes later, but they have an automatic door so I couldn't get in, and I was all mad and upset, and then this family came by and helped me get in and offered to let me sit with them, so I did!"

"Okay…so you kissed him, and then you ditched him?"

"_I _didn't ditch him! _He_ was the one who ditched me, remember? I was stuck outside?" I rolled my eyes.

"So…what happened after you had dinner with complete strangers?"

"They actually ended up being complete sociopaths and tried to abduct me, but then Sasori came and beat them up and we rode off into the sunset," I sighed dreamily.

"The sun had already set by the time you left," Ana snorted, calling my bluff. "Although that would be a cliché romantic thing to go down…what really happened?"

"I don't know, I'd have to check that chapter…"

"What?"

"I mean! We started talking about school and stuff, and how much of a genius I was, but then Sasori came over, and he was hella pissed," I rolled my eyes. "And he was all 'sit with me' and I was like 'quiet, honey, momma's making friends right now.' So he sat with us and then he tried my mac and cheese and then we left."

"Wait…did you make the family pay for your food?" Ana asked, excited.

"I should have, but, alas, I did not," I sighed. "Anyways, the ride home was awkward because all these love songs came on-"

"Wouldn't it have been hilarious if I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) came on?" she demanded.

"It did," I nodded gravely. "But I changed it. Then I Feel the Earth Move, then It's Oh-So Quiet, and then Kiss by Prince," I shook my head. "Then I just turned the stupid radio off. The awkward mess!"

Ana laughed, standing up. "I bet he likes you~" she teased, flicking my hair.

"Yeah, yeah, where is Todd with my medicine?" I demanded. "TODD! WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?" I shouted.

"What did you say you needed?" he called back.

"PAMPRIN! PAMPRIN! P-A-M-P-R-I-N! PAMPRIN!" I yelled, burying my face into my knee caps as Ana plopped down next to me.

I heard a shuffle of feet coming from the dining room. "Hey, what's short stuff doing on the floor?" came Kisame's voice.

"I'm dying of agony!" I cried, tightening my ball.

"She's on her period," Ana explained, stroking my hair.

"God! Where is Todd!" I sobbed, kicking the wall. "That hurt," I mumbled.

"Kalika, if you'd like," Itachi started. "I could go get Sasori to help your brother find whatever you need?"

"Yes please," I squeaked. "Pamprin, medicine cabinet over the sink in the bathroom, middle compartment, top shelf to the left."

I looked up and saw Itachi nod before going back the way he came. Sighing, I commented, "You've got yourself a real keeper there, Ana Rae."

She grinned. "I know!"

**Sometimes good things do come from bad things. This story is actually based on the cramp pains that I'm feeling right now as you read.**

**Anyways, I do promise to try my hardest to be better with updating, though I make no promises that they'll be one after another because I have so much work to do, and I still have to clean my room and finish my homework…ugh!**

**Anyways, loves and hugs, minions dearest!**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee**


	13. Chapter 13

**So…it's been about two weeks? Maybe a week? I'm not good with time…sooooo…Legend of Korra: Book 2 premiers today and obviously I'm gonna watch it.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto…chaos would ensue…**

"Rae Rae, play some music to help the pains go away," I whined, leaning my head on the wall.

"Wanna watch Minecraft with me?" she asked.

"Never mind…" I trailed off. "I just want my pain medicine…ha-ha…get it, Rae Rae? _Pain_ medicine? _Pein_ medicine!? Ha-ha…I crack myself up…"

Ana shook her head, smirking. "You're ridiculous."

"This class is ridiculous," I said, quoting Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter, the third movie. "Hey, where is my laptop?"

"I believe Pein and Konan borrowed it to try and find the way back home," she replied, typing something into her computer. "I think they're in the dining room.

"Ah! Surely Konan would know my pain!" I announced, raising my arms into the air. "The pain that Nagato will never know…Konan!"

I heard a soft shuffle of feet and looked up at the bluenette. "Hello, Kalika," she smiled.

"Hi, Konan!" I greeted, returning her smile. "I have a question for you, my friend."

"Okay," she nodded, sitting on the rocking chair that was next to me.

"When you get your period," I asked. "Isn't it hard to be surrounded by all these guys who don't understand your agony and you just want to rip their heads off?"

"Actually, I did rip Hidan's head off once," she mused, smiling slightly. "I probably killed Kakuzu at least twice too…and at one point, I poured weed killer on Zetsu…"

Ana and I both cracked up laughing. "That would be great for a Fanfic!" we said simultaneously. "The Pains of Being Konan."

"Not to mention you have to put up with all of them," I shrugged. "I mean, some of them aren't bothersome, but then others…" I shook my head. "Have you ever blown something up with Deidara's clay?"

Konan laughed loudly, snorting. "Once…" she chuckled. "Once, Deidara and I blew up Sasori's puppets! His face was almost as red as his hair!"

I began to cackle, hysterically. And when I say cackle, I mean it sounds maniacal and…just plain ridiculous.

"Kalika, calm your tits," Ana scolded me, shaking her head.

I wiggled my shoulders, trying to get more comfortable in my tight ball. "Did you know that my teacher tried to tell us what color bras to wear?" I demanded, looking at my curly-haired friend.

"What? No, she didn't."

"Yes, she did," I replied. "She was like 'Your uniform shirts are white, so we could see what colored camisoles and bras you're wearing, so you can only wear white camisoles and white bras.' Like, bitch please, if I want to wear a neon rainbow sequin bra, then I will wear a neon rainbow sequin bra!"

"Oh my Jashin, Kalika, calm the fuck down," Ana snorted.

"Like, are you going to tell me what color my eyes should be too?" I demanded. "Are you going to start the fucking Second Holocaust? Everyone who's not wearing a white cami and bra will die? Girl bye! I pay over ten hundred dollars a year to go there and you're going to tell me what color fucking bra I should wear?"

"Kalika…" Ana scolded.

"If you don't want to see it, then don't look," I replied. "I can see your old lady bras right through your shirt in class every day, and, honey, that shit ain't white!"

"Kalika," Ana repeated, trying to gain my attention.

"And furthermore," I continued. You aren't even a real teacher! I don't care that you have a PHD in Chemistry; you make us watch YouTube videos that you didn't even make for homework and then give us a test on it! You shouldn't get paid for that shit, and-"

"KALIKA!" Ana said, louder, successfully gaining my attention.

"Huh?"

"Sasori has your medicine," she said, smirking.

"Oh," I turned to look at the redhead, holding out my hands for the bottle and the water. "Hey," I greeted.

He nodded in acknowledgement before placing the items in my hand and walking away. I pouted, taking two tablets and placing the empty cup and the bottle next to me on the floor.

"Now all I have to do is wait half an hour before this starts to work…" I muttered, laying my head on my knees once again.

"I sense some awkwardness between you and Sasori, Kalika," Konan stated, looking at me intently. "What happened?"

"I didn't do anything," I mumbled, avoiding her question. It was silent for a moment, before Ana decided to speak up.

"She kissed Sasori and now it's all awkward," she told the blue-haired woman.

Konan nodded. "Do you know of Yahiko?" Konan asked us, sincerely. We nodded, telling her we knew. "I loved him…we loved each other, but we never actually told each other about our feelings. We kissed twice and protected each other in battle, but I never told him that I loved him."

Ana and I leaned in to hear her better. Konan looked outside the window, but wasn't actually seeing it. I had a feeling that she was remembering back to when Yahiko was alive. "And now it's too late," she concluded. "And he'll never know how I feel. Don't make that same mistake, Kalika. Don't make yourself spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if…' once he's gone."

I stared at the bluenette, taking in her words and her encouraging smile before looking down to my folded hands. "I've read so many fanfictions were as soon as the couple develops a relationship, you guys find your way back home and the girl's left broken hearted…I don't want to be that girl."

"You won't be," she replied. "Those are all just stories. Made up stories written by people whose imagination leads them to separate the couple. This is real life, Kalika, _your_ life. So do something about it."

My eyes widened, realizing that she was probably right, and I smiled widely at her, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you, Konan," I sighed, holding her close.

She placed her hands on my back awkwardly, not used to physical contact such as this, but she didn't say anything.

After a few more seconds of Konan hugging, I released her, standing up, nodding to myself. "I'm going to tell him," I said, determined. "I'm going to tell him…"

"Good for you, Kiks," Ana grinned, shooting me a thumbs up.

I nodded towards her. "I'm gonna tell him, gonna tell him," the phone rang, and I shook my head. "Right after I answer the phone!"

"Kalika!" Ana groaned.

"What? It could be someone important!" I announced, picking up the phone and answering it. "Hello?"

"Hello, I'm with Let the Sun Shine In, Incorporations," a male voice said from over the line. "I'm calling today to ask you if you would like a sunroof installed into your apartment."

"Sorry, I don't need one," I replied, simply. "I'm a vampire."

"Well…uh…I…um…if you-" he hung up, causing me to laugh, and press the end call button.

"What was that about?" Ana asked.

"He asked me if I wanted a sunroof in my apartment," I replied, scrunching up my face. "I don't even have an apartment."

Ana giggled. "Well, weren't you going to do something?" she offered.

"Oh, right! I'm going to tell him!" I repeated. "I'm going to tell him! Telling him is what I shall do, and-"

The phone rang again. "God, dammit, what is with you people just deciding to break my mojo!" I demanded, picking up the phone and answering it. "I told you I'm a vampire, I don't need a sunroof!"

"I'm not selling anything," a deep voice chuckled.

I gasped. "Daddy?" I grinned.

"Hey," he replied.

"Where are you?"

"Is anybody really anywhere?" he said, and I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Yes…yes everybody is wherever they are," I told him.

"I just landed in New York," he said, yawning. "Jenny'll probably pick you up from your mom's house when she gets off work."

"Okay," I said. "Hey, Papa, would it be alright if I brought a couple friends over?"

"Um…how many?" he asked.

"Two…maybe three," I said.

"Yeah, it's fine with me," he said. "We just need to put the final touches in the spare room."

"That's fine, but, Daddy?"

"What's up, homita?"

I giggled. "There's someone I _really_ want you to meet," I said, winking over at Ana, who shot me another grin.

"Really, and who might this be?" he asked, hesitantly.

"It's a secret, but, Daddy, be nice," I warned.

"Oh, sure, sure," he promised, halfheartedly.

"Say it like I'd believe it!" I demanded.

"Okay, okay! I promise to be nice," he mumbled defensively.

"Okay, see you later, bye, Daddy."

"Bye, Kikers."

I hung up, smiling at the two girls in the room. "Now, I'm going to tell him!" I announced. And if the stupid phone rings! Ana Rae, you will answer it!"

"Sure, sure," she waved me off. "Good luck! Oh, and if you see Itachi tell him I'm looking for him."

"Sure thing, doll," I winked. "Thanks for the talk, Konan!"

"Anytime, Kalika," she smiled. "It's great to finally have some girls to talk to."

"Hey, it's raining!" I announced, pointing out the window. "That must be a sign!"

"A sign that your relationship won't work out?" Ana offered, worried.

"No, I love rain and rain loves me, so it's a good sign!" I said, turning around. "Now…I'm off!"

**Well, that's it for this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Ha-ha, I'm tired…**

**Well, thank you all who reviewed, followed, favorite, etc.**

**Reviews are always welcome, but Bosley is the only permanent solution to hair loss (Sorry, the commercial just came on, ha-ha). Choose hair.**

**Loves and hugs, my minions!**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, here we are once again. Another chapter has come to your inbox. Did I already tell you about my cool app that monitors my sleep? I probably did, ha-ha.**

**Disclaimer: Although Naruto is not mine, Ayukazi with Kitty is.**

I skipped out of the room, checking the dining room for a certain redhead. I did, in fact, find a redhead, just not the one I was looking for. "Oh, hey, Pein," I greeted the man, who was still browsing on my laptop, a particularly disturbed look on his face. His head snapped up to look at me, a shocked look becoming evident on his face.

"Oh, hello," he replied, nodding in my direction. I climbed up onto a stool to get onto the chair next to him, looking over his shoulder.

"Ah!" I screamed, jumping off the chair, falling on the floor, covering my eyes. "The yaoi! It burns!"

"Why do people do this?" Pein asked, glancing disgustedly at the drawling of Nagato and Yahiko in an intimate position.

"Because they're lonely housewives with nothing better to do than to live out their perverted fantasies using my favorite characters," I groaned, closing the picture. "It's even worse…with fanfictions…that ship you and Yahiko…"

"I don't even want to read them," he replied.

"No one does, love," I replied, shaking my head sadly as I clambered back onto the chair.

We sat still and silent for a good five minutes before Pein cleared his throat. "Is there any particular reason that you're in here?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah!" I grinned. "I was wondering if you've seen Sasorio."

"You mean Sasori?"

"Indeed," I replied solemnly, nodding.

"Are you going to tell him about your feelings?" Pein asked.

I stared at the redhead. "…Have you been reading my diary?" I accused.

He avoided eye contact, saying, "…No…"

"Liar," I muttered. "Anyway, have you seen him?"

"He went that way," Pein offered, pointing to the door hole that led to the kitchen.

"Thank you," I smiled, about to get off the chair. "Hey, Pein?"

"Yes?"

"Can I take a picture with you?" I asked.

"Take a what with me?"

I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket, opening my camera. I held it up; squishing my cheek against Pein's and took the picture. I stared at it for a minute before a grin spread across my face. "This is great!" I announced, holding it up. "Thanks again, Pein!"

"No…problem?"

I slid off the chair onto the stool so that I could step down onto the floor. Shoving my phone back into my butt pocket, I quickly made my way into the kitchen, mentally repeating my mantra. I was so focused on my mantra, apparently, that I crashed into someone. That someone was, of course, the very person I was looking for.

He also had an entire plate of various foods that fell to the floor. I looked down, staring at the foods for a good couple of seconds before slowly raising my eyes to meet Sasori's slightly annoyed ones. "Sasori!" I cheered, taking his hand in mine and shaking it vigorously like we were just meeting for the first time.

"What are you doing?" he asked, donning a bored look on his face.

"Sasori, I have to tell you something," I told him, staring him in the eyes.

"Okay, I'll listen," he replied. I opened my mouth to tell him, but closed it again after a few seconds. I glared at the floor, opening my mouth again, only to close it once more. "Well? Are you going to keep me waiting?"

_This is it_, I thought. _This is the moment when I tell him and we ride off into the figurative sunset! This is the moment to_-

"Do you mind if I pace around?" I asked him, mentally face palming.

"Is that all you had to say?"

"No!" I pouted. "I just need to pace to tell you because I…"

I started to walk in circles around the room, feeling a little more comfortable now. "Sasori, can I ask you something?"

"Well, since you won't say anything otherwise, go ahead," he replied.

"Sasori, how do you feel about me?"

Sasori stared at me, his eyes following me around the room. "How do I feel about you?" he repeated the question. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"No, it does," I assured him.

"…"

I stopped right in front of him. "It does matter," I said strongly, taking a deep breath, looking him straight in the eyes. "Because I have feelings for you." Sasori's stare continued to bore into eyes, but he still remained silent. "Sasori, I really, _really_ you." He didn't move away or any closer, his mouth remained closed, locking away any response of rejected or acceptance. "Shit…" I muttered turning around to walk out of the room; a soft, yet firm hand placed itself onto my arm, ceasing my movements.

"Don't leave yet," Sasori commanded, not taking his hand away, but not making any other movements either.

I waited for him to say something, do something, but he didn't. "I thought you didn't like to keep people waiting," I mumbled. "If you're going to reject me, then do it. If not, then-"

Sasori spun me to face him, pressing his lips against mine. I froze, my hands pressed to his chest, my heart thumping erratically (Not erotically, you perverts!) against my ribs. I slowly let my hands trail up his body to wrap around his shoulders, and began to press my lips against his, matching his force.

He pulled away first, lying his forehead against mine as he trailed his fingertips lightly down my sides, allowing his hands to rest on my hips. "Is that a 'yes, I like you too' kiss? Or was is a 'sorry, but I don't like you that way' kiss?" I joked, staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

"Well, it's about fucking time," Ana's voice came from the doorway, accompanied by Kakuzu's mumbling. "Pay up, you creepy codger!" she demanded of the five-hearted man.

Kakuzu grumbled, digging in his pocket for his wallet, pulling out a fifty and handing it to Ana. "You…bet on us?" I asked incredulously.

"No, I bet that you would be the first to confess and he would kiss you," Ana replied.

"Then what did Kakuzu bet?"

"That neither of you would confess and you'd just start a make-out session and end up together," the creepy man growled.

"Well, sorry, not sorry," I shrugged. "I'm glad Rae Rae has some money because that means she can pay me back for the toaster over she set on fire with Deidara the other day."

"But...i was going to buy stuff," she whimpered. "Like…I don't know…stuff! Stuff that I want and don't particularly need!"

"Fine…" I replied, turning to face the girl. "But if you get candy, I want some."

"Yes, yes, I know," she rolled her eyes. "Sour gummy octopi."

"Those are my favorites," I said, leaning against Sasori's chest.

"I thought Sasori was your favorite?" Ana teased, smirking.

"He is," I nodded, playing with his hand. "Hey, Sasori?"

"Hmm?"

"How come your hand is so soft," I wondered. "If you're named out of wood?"

"Or are you made out of wood now?" Ana questioned the ginger.

"When I formed this body, I made sure it was perfectly smooth, without flaw," Sasori replied, gripping my hand tightly as he leaned his chin on the top of my head.

"Awww~" Ana gushed. "And he left a place for Kika!"

"What?" Sasori and I said in unison.

"I meant his heart, when he made the body, he left a spot for his heart," she clarified, deadpanning. "And you love with your heart. And Sasori loved Kika."

"Technically, he hasn't said it yet," Konan said, stepping into the doorframe.

"Yeah, Sasori, say it!" Ana demanded.

I looked up at Sasori's face as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "I-"

**Cliffhanger! Hahaha! I'm such an evil person! I'm really hungry! And tired! Did I tell you about my sleep app? No, I think I did…**

**So…what's he gonna say?**

**I saw Legend of Korra Book 2, and the twins! I love them! Cute little awkward, unemotional balls of water tribe!**

**Oh, but before I forget, reviews are enjoyed and appreciated.**

**Anyways, loves and hugs, my precious minions!**

**Yours psychotically,**

**Vee **


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